No more silence

My morning routine consists of my alarm going off precisely at 6:55 am and immediately I turn on my television.  There I turn to ABC and see the last second weather forecast for the day and prepare for Good Morning America (GMA).  This particular morning, December 4, 2014, I uncovered something that shocked me.


We are a nation incredibly divided on this issue and it is tearing me apart.

Take a second a look at the numbers again, this time focusing solely on the grand jury decision portion.  Half of America agrees with the grand jury's decision and the other half doesn't.  Fine.  But let's look at the racial divide.  60% of whites agree while 40% disagree...10% of blacks agree while 90% of blacks disagree.

We've all seen commercials or informercials where they say that 9 of 10 {fill in the blank} agree that {fill in the black}.  Why is that phrase so widely used?  Because usually we are led to believe that there will always be "that one person" who disagrees, but we are supposed to go with the over whelming majority right?

Lets forget the facts of Ferguson and whether justice was done shall we?  Why do you think that 90% (or 85% if you're trying to be cute) think that there is something wrong?  Probably because there is.  I'm not concerned on whether you think that justice is rightly administered, I have people that I hold a ton of respect to give split answers, my problem is the fact that this is such a racially divisive subject.

90% of blacks are saying that there is something wrong.  Let me repeat that: ninety percent.  And I hear some of my fairer skinned brothers and sisters indicate that in some way there is an overreaction?  There's no way that I can get on board with that.  I can't be silent anymore.

Through Trayvon Martin ordeal I was silent because I respect the court system too much.  This decision to not indict Officer Wilson did not surprise me.  What did surprise me was the backlash I received.  This recent incident with Eric Garner admit-tingly surprised me.

These issues have uncovered an issue that is continuously swept under the rug because it's uncomfortable.  That issue is that there is a huge stereotyping problem.

I've seen this photo circulate a ton and I refused to repost it only because it's missing the point:

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule.  But let us do an experiment.  To all of my white brothers and sisters out there, why don't you ask 5 people of color if they ever had a crude experience of being negatively stereotyped and how that made them feel.  Then ask them for another.  This post is to my white brothers and sisters.  No, we aren't crazy.  No, we aren't all overreacting.  Yes, there is a huge problem.
But I have hope that this can be rectified.  I have hope that we can look upon each other and see the real person underneath the melanin.  I have this hope and i will NOT let it die.
People are telling me that I'm wasting my time because the difference is too vast.  I'm sorry but I must disagree.  While none of my fairer skinned friends will not understand how it feels to feel like you're being condemned because of your skin tone, they can empathize and somewhat have compassion on it.
Jesus, my role model, was a man of compassion.  He had love for everyone, especially those that were different than he.  This is my plea to America.  Please understand that we, as a African American community, are deeply hurt by this issue.  We are consistently negatively stereotyped and it all comes from fear.  Please don't fear us.  Please don't be afraid of us...me.  I just want to be loved and loved back. But I can no longer sit back and be idle.  I can't and I won't.

-MJ

I Mourn...

I mourn because we are fighting like dogs on an issue that should unite us.
I mourn because another guy that looks like me is dead on the street.
I mourn because another guy that looks like me shows no respect to the police.
I mourn because more violence does not create more violence.
I mourn because everyone that looks like me is up in arms.
I mourn because half of those that don't look like me do not understand.
I mourn because there is sin rampant in the world and at times it feels hopeless.
I mourn because racism is still alive and kicking.
I mourn because these circumstances in Ferguson and Staten Island are dividing us.
I mourn because not enough of my Christian brethren are talking about the decisions.
I mourn because of poverty.
I mourn because of segregation.
I mourn because of the cycle of hopelessness that is continuously spinning.
I mourn because Dr. King's dream might not ever be realized.
I mourn because my family mourns.
I mourn because I'm tired of arguing/debating the validity.

I simply mourn because I am a black man living in the USA that doesn't feel united.

Does It REALLY Matter?

Yesterday, October 4, 2014, I was invited to go to a friend's church that once a month has a gathering of young adults (20 and 30 year olds) to network, chat, sing, and hear a message.  I'm not going to get too much into the nature of the message or songs because they were all pretty good but there was this one specific instance that rubbed me the wrong way...

So it was after the message and we were waiting for the food to arrive (it was catered Cosi which is always a good idea).  It was a quite informal experience where people felt comfortable enough to just walk up to others and randomly start having a conversation (which if you know ANYTHING about me, that's not my specialty).  Nonetheless, this guy and I believe a girl walked up to me and started to have a conversation with me.  It went as follows (note I'm trying to recall the entire convo so this is an approximation):

-A little short talk-
Guy:  So are you a Christian?
Me: Yessir.  Jesus is alive!
Guy: How do you know that he's alive?
Me: *thinking that this is an interesting convo* Well I interact with him every day through nature, I talk to him, I pray to him...
Guy: WRONG, you know that he's alive because of the Spirit.

Pause.

Right when he said that statement he had this sly look on his face like he was trying to prove, (whether to me, himself, or the lady next to him) that he knew some theological lingo.  Congratulations buddy, but come on!  Why does it matter if I didn't use the correct theological lingo? Was my answer incorrect? No.  Was your answer more biblically standing? Sure.  However, the need to completely shoot down my answer just to relay your supposed theological superiority took me aback.

It has led me to ask the question: Is this how we seriously evangelize now?  Are we overly consumed with having the correct (or should I say supposedly) correct answer that we're out to prove that we know what we're talking about?  My intention is not to bash the guy because I'm sure his intentions were at least somewhat pure, but brother, does it REALLY matter if I didn't recount Theology 101 and give credence to the Spirit at the moment of a spontaneous conversation?

If I ever have a conversation like the above that emphasized the core of Christianity, hopefully, I'll take the answer given as an acceptable one.  I mean the fact that I acknowledged Jesus' presence should tell you something about my beliefs.  Besides, the Holy Spirit was sent in Jesus' name (John 14:26)!  So me interacting with Jesus is acknowledging the Spirit.

Let's not get bogged down into the semantics of theology unless we are having a deep theological discussion of which acknowledgment of discourse is being partaken.  It's a waste of words and I'm afraid that it may rub people the wrong way.  Our job is to show people the light, not disgust them with our proud Christian-ese words that leads them with a poignant taste in their mouth.

Why I Am Against Homogenous Worship Services (Especially In America)

Recently I've been reading John Piper's book Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and the Christian.  This book talks about his plight in fighting racism in his own life and how the Gospel of Jesus Christ broke that chain.  In the book, I came across this sentence:

"If Christ died - mark this, Died!- to make the church a diverse, reconciled body of Jew and Gentile - "red and yellow, black and white," and every shade and shape in between - then to glory in the cross is to glory in the display of the fruit of that cross."

In the context that Dr. Piper is referring to, he's talking about what I would describe as the big "C" Church as opposed to the little "c" church*.  Jesus' death and resurrection unified the Church; there is no more Jew or Greek, there's only of Christ and not of Christ.  That's Dr. Piper's main point.

I'm taking it a step further: because of Jesus' death and resurrection, church's should not be seperated by race, ethnicity, or worship styles.  Now admittingly, I'm only a worshipper.  I'm part of the worship team at my current church and I've been a gospel choir director for my alma mater Messiah College and Harrisburg Brethren in Christ Church.  So I'm not too deep into church politics.  However, what I do know is that there probably isn't a much larger battleground in church structure than worship.  As a worship leader, I've been in the mix of some of the wars, so take my comments with that grain of salt.

With that being said, we are called to unify.  To declassify.  To shed off our own skin and become united with Jesus and when we do that, we are united with the body and when we do that, those in the body are no longer just my friends, they are now my brothers and sisters.  

So I ask this question: How can [honestly] I love my brother and sister if I don't take the time to understand them?

Now Michael, what you're saying is that all believers should just join one (small "c") church!?  No.  That's not what I'm saying.  Obviously there are legitimate reasons for SOME denominational splits, especially when theologies are on different ends of the spectrum, aka Protestant vs. Catholic/Orthodox.  But, despite those differences, there is absolutely no reason why there shouldn't be diversity in two ways (with one leading to the other).  Firstly, there needs to be diversity in the congregational body and that leads to diversity in the worship styles.

I will probably never find a church that I agree with it's theology 100%.  Probably because I don't even know what I believe sometimes (other than the core of Gospel -- Jesus lived, taught, was crucified, rose from the dead, ascended into heaven, and is coming back).  But if I can find a church of which I agree with 75% of the theology, I feel secure.  As a result, I would surmise that most protestant congregations, theology-wise, I would be comfortable in.  

So why do we only stay with our race, ethnicity, or group that makes us feel "comfortable?"

There is absolutely nothing comfortable about being a Christian.  In fact, when we feel comfortable, we run the risk of becoming complacent or lukewarm, and that is not what we are about.  If you are comfortable every day of your Christian journey, then there is probably something wrong with your Christian journey.

This boils over to a homogenous congregation.  When I'm around people that look like me (racially and/or ethnically), think like me (culturally), and act like me, I'm probably not going to grow.  I'm not leaving room for my faith to be stretched.  This is why when I came back home from Messiah College, I could not join the largest African American Church in Philadelphia, PA called Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church.  No knock on Enon, but I didn't feel comfortable being around people that only looked like me anymore.  I needed to be challenged...

When the congregation structure begins to change, worship styles are going to have to change. One of the largest challenges in the diverse church is worshipping on a song style that just isn't your cup of tea.  But, it's necessary.  Many cultures are best defined by their music.  In many ways, it's our identity.  Wait a minute, Jesus should now be our identity, not the worship style...I digress...

In an effort to shorten this blog post, I'm going to reiterate what I said earlier whether you agree with me or not:

There is no way I can [honestly] love my brother and sister if I don't take the time to get to know them.

If I just stay in my comfort zone in church, I won't grow as much as I could.  

Oh, and newsflash, when we get to heaven we are all going to be together worshipping Jesus, our Lord and savior anyway.  So let's start now!!

-MJA

-I may need to write a part 2 on this one, but we'll see.-

*Big "C" Church is referring to the entire body of Christ.  Little "c" church is referring to the individual worship services.

Foolishness of Christ (#Anomaly)

The older I've become, the more frustrated and misunderstood I'm beginning to feel.  Maybe it's because I was encompassed by the ignorance bliss of my childhood youth to recognize that I don't fit it.  In fact, I've never really fit it.  Despite my best efforts to assimilate through life, I've never really fit it.

Over the past few weeks, I've had various conversations about dating, money, life choices, and convictions (mostly in that order) and the more I listen, the more frustrated I'm finding myself becoming.  It's like the concepts that are embedded in my head come from this out of world experience that just seems foreign to many people I speak to.  It's as if I'm trying to explain a whole nother language to them...

My most recent studies have taken me through the minor prophet Joel, 1 Kings, and most important for the purpose of this blog, 1 Corinthians.  In 1 Corinthians, Paul is approached with a lot of division within the church at Corinth.  Sects (err denominations) are being formed between Paulites and Apollosites (followers of Paul's teachings and followers of Apollos' teachings).  Now I can go and talk about this divisions for a while, but lets save that for another blog.

What has continuously hit me however, is twice in the opening 3 chapters, Paul talks about wisdom.  The wisdom of the world versus the wisdom that the Holy Spirit gives us.

For since, in the wisdom of God, the world did not know God through wisdom, it pleased God through the folly of what we preach to save those who believe. - 1 Corith. 1:21

Ok. This is weird.  The concepts that go on in my head about the before-mentioned topics clash with the general concepts of the world.  And it bothers me.  I'll show a few examples here:

Dating
It's important for me to always be committed to my [imaginary] girlfriend.  Commitment, honesty, loyalty and the values I [now] cherish the most.  I'm a romantic at heart that wants to spoil my [imaginary] girlfriend by holding the doors open for her, dropping her off near the door when the weather is bad, waiting until she enters the house at night before driving away.  Ya know, what I thought were the basics.  They (whoever they are) say that chivalry is dead, well as long as I'm alive, chivalry will not be dead. Real talk.

Money
Money is not very important to me.  Yes, it's nice having a steady job, kinda sorta living paycheck to paycheck because of the pimp know as Sallie Mae, and just being comfortable.  However, one of the fears I have, and this is an honest fear ya'll, is having too much money.  I'm afraid that I'll become consumed by it.  That it runs the risk of becoming my idol.  It's seems to me that everyone wants a little more money, and if/when they get that little more money, they want a little MORE money and so forth and so on.  Listen, not everyone has the money "Sin Giant" but many of us are capable of it.

Convictions
I always thought that people knew what convictions were.  I guess is ASSumed incorrectly.  Probably the easiest way to describe it is one's conscious.  I often tell people that the reason I stopped cussing is because I started to feel bad about it.  My conscious, aka the Holy Spirit, began to convict me because that's not how a man of God should be using his words (See James 3:1-12)  When I tell people this, I get one of two reactions: A.) Oh that's really cool or B.) *Looks at me like I'm crazy*.  Yep, story of my life.

I am not, I repeat, I AM not claiming that my words or thoughts are the way the "perfect" man or Christian should live.  I'm also not judging you if you have different mindsets different than mine.  These are just my convictions (see what I just did there) and my observations on how I'm just a #Anomaly.

Don't lose faith my brothers and sisters if you just aren't understood (whether it's in the physical, emotional or spiritual sense).  We are all created to be different parts of God's body.  We have different thoughts, different skills, different appearances, and different brain sizes (with mine being the largest.....just KIDDING).  Do what you feel is right.  I believe that we are all born with a conscious (there are scientific exceptions to that rule I guess) that hint us in the right direction.  It's all about listening to it.  One of the sure fire ways to check to see if what you're doing is the "right" thing is to ask the rhetorical question, "Am I blessing others with this decision or am I only doing it for myself."  And please please please be honest to yourself.

With much blessings,
MJA#Anomaly

The Way of Improvement Leads Home: So What CAN You Do With a History Major?: Part 48

A recent blog that I was featured on! Check it Out!

The Way of Improvement Leads Home: So What CAN You Do With a History Major?: Part 48:

Work as a Paralegal.

In this post in our series "So What CAN You Do With a History Major?," I caught up with Michael Adams, a 2012 graduate of Messiah College, proud product of the Philadelphia public school system, and a history major.  Michael is currently working as a paralegal in his hometown..

Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours?

You know the songs:

Break my heart for what breaks yours;
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause;
As I walk from earth into eternity.
~Hosanna - Hillsong UNITED

Father, break my heart for what breaks yours;
Give me open hands and open doors;
Put your light in my eyes and let me see;
That my own little world is not about me.
~My Own Little World - Matthew West

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners;
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers;
Let our hearts be led by mercy;
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors.
Oh Jesus friend of sinners: break our hearts for what breaks yours.
~Jesus, Friend of Sinners - Casting Crowns

To name a few.

But do we REALLY want that?  Do we want our hearts and sould moved with compassion at the"least of these." Do we want to look around and see so much pain that our hearts break with every turning? Do we want to see the begger and instantly feel compassion? Empathy is a scary thing ya'll.

One thing that I'm realizing is that we can't just stop there.  We can't end the prayer there.  Look at the above lyrics.  Every single time it's preceded or followed by action.  We can't just look around and so "ooh that's bad" and just move on with our lives.  The purpose of the heart breaking is to cause us to move into action.  We all have different gifts and talents to help this world in some way.  Don't believe me? Check out Romans 12.  I guarantee you'll find something in there that you have the absolute capability of doing.

My heart broke earlier today.  But at the same time, I feel much more motivated to enact change.  Even if it's a little change, I'm going to try.  Even if I don't see results, I have to press on because I don't know the work to Jesus is doing in their life.

Don't just pray the simple prayer if you're not ready to do the HUGE action.

Keep it Up (Day 3)

Day 1: Sunday - Palm Sunday
Day 2: Monday
Day 3: TUESDAY
Day 4: Wednesday
Day 5: Thursday
Day 6: Friday - Good Friday
Day 7: Saturday
Day 8: Easter Sunday!

"Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." - 1 Tim. 6:12 (ESV)

So we made it through Monday (which by many accounts is the worst day of the week).  However, often times Tuesday is just as bad as Monday!  It's on these where I need a little encouraging and not to many people outside of Jesus encoruage better than Paul.

In the verse above, Paul is encouraging his protege, Timothy, to keep it up.  Keep doing what he was doing.

I don't know about you, but it feels like the deeper/stronger I get in my faith, the more temptations I start to face; the more challenges I have spiritually and physically.  To all of my brothers and sisters that are just beginnning their faith jounrey, take a hold to God's unchanging hand because it's going to be a rollercoaster!

So it's always nice to have this reminder.  Fight the good fight of faith.  I love that language.  We are going to have to continuously fight, fight, and fight everyone.  Continue to be that light of the world.  Keep the faith!!

Day 3 reflection: As the week goes on, we are going to face more and more troubles which gives us more and more need to rely on God's power.  Just keeping fighting the good fight of faith.

Monday Comfort (Day 2)

Day 1: Sunday - Palm Sunday
Day 2: MONDAY
Day 3: Tuesday
Day 4: Wednesday
Day 5: Thursday
Day 6: Friday - Good Friday
Day 7: Saturday
Day 8: Easter Sunday!

Matthew 5:14 "You are the light of the world--like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." - NLT

It's a Monday.  If you're not a morning person (and I'm not) Mondays can be the slowest point of the week.  Especially Monday mornings...

While my instincts want to complain and be grumpy that it's the beginning of a long long long (did I mention long) week, I'm taken-a-back by what Jesus says on the Sermon on the Mount.

We are the city on the hill.  We are supposed to be the light of the world.  We should be thankful and grateful that we have even woken up this morning.  There are people out there that did not wake up, that did not get the opportunity to bless someone else's day.  I mean come-on, there aren't too many better feelings than blessing others!

Every day just gives me another opportunity to do God's work and be the salt and light of the world.  So why am I grumpy about having to wake up at 6:40?  I have friends/co-workers that wake up at 5!

PLUS, I don't know about where you guys are waking up, but where I am, it's a ridiculously beautiful day.  "I got birds flying high, sun in the sky, breeze drifting on by...and I'm feeling GOOD."

Day 2 reflection: Work on becoming the salt of the earth and light of the world and be more appreciate with the fact that I've been giving another day to be God's workmanship.

Who Do We Think We Are? (Day 1 - Palm Sunday)

In an effort to get back to blogging on a semi-normal basis, I'm going to ATTEMPT to blog every day during the most important week in the Christian Calendar: Holy Week.

Day 1: TODAY - Palm Sunday
Day 2: Monday
Day 3: Tuesday
Day 4: Wednesday
Day 5: Thursday
Day 6: Friday - Good Friday
Day 7: Saturday
Day 8: Easter Sunday!

Matthew 21:9 - "The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted, "Hosanna to the Son of David!" "Blessed is her who comes in the name of the Lord!"  Hosanna in the highest heaven!" - NIV

Jesus came into Jerusalem riding one of the humblest of animals: a donkey.

The King of kings, who could get anything he ever wanted came in one of the most humiliating ways.  Think about that for a second...

We come in with our degrees and expected lifestyle acting like people OWE us respect. We DESERVE respect because of who we are.  I mean don't you know who I am?

Don't you know who Jesus is!?  He came to serve.  Yea, he could've came on a white stallion but he didn't. Matthew 21:5.

That idea really makes you think.  Why do I do what I do?  Why am I a paralegal?  Why am I a person that tries to love others?  Is it because I want the recognition.  Because I want to get the respect that I feel like I deserve?  But wait...respect is the last thing I deserve.  So why am I constantly acting like I'm all that and a bag of skittles?  When my role model, my best friend, my savior, my GOD came here to serve.

Who do we think we are? to take the song title from Mr. John Legend.

Day 1 reflection:  Stop acting like I'm entitled to having respect; I should be doing what I'm doing because it's the right thing to do aka out of love.

I know who Jesus is and that's all he wants: love.

I Can't Hold It

Have you ever read something and instantly felt on fire.  The passage, that paragraph, that sentence you read makes you exclaim to the top of your voice (possibly within the confines of your head): "Yes!  This is what I'm talking about!" Or some similar phraseology.

Well, this is what happened during my nightly bible study with myself reading Acts 26: 24-32.  Here, Paul is in prison and making his appeal to Herod Aggripa who is like a governor of a province of the Roman Empire.  Here Paul is falsely prisoned as a trouble maker and is pleading his case.  Actually, pleading is a rough word, Paul is making his argument on why he is unjustly shackled.  Throughout this process he finds a ingenious way to witness by proclaiming Jesus all throughout his testimony.

Stop There.

Paul's life is so infused with his Lord and savior, Jesus' that he can't help but talk about it; there is no aspect of his life where Jesus cannot be found oozing in it.  It's ridiculous how passionate and fearless Paul was in a spot where he was persecuted for what he believed in.

Resume.

Verse 28 states as follows: "Then [Herod] Agrippa said to Paul, "You almost persuade me to become a Christian."

Pause.

Now it's pretty obvious that Agrippa (or Aggy) was being sarcastic.  Nonetheless, the truth is still present that Paul provided a very compelling argument supported by eyewitnesses and facts all in chapter 26.  It brings me to the idea that no matter how perfect we feel our argument is...No matter how infallible we feel like the evidence is, some people. just. won't. listen (at least not at that moment).  And you know what, it's ok.

One of the feelings I've been having recently is trying to learn it all.  Earlier in my life I was planning on becoming a lawyer and one of the characteristics of a lawyer is to anticipate every argument and rebuttal coming your way.  I mean, one of the ABCs' of law is to "never ask a question you don't know the answer to."  But I don't need to know it all, in fact even if I did, I still won't be able to convince everyone.  And that's. ok. What a load off my back.

Continue (here's the big point).

Verse 29: "Paul replied, 'Short time or long--I pray to God that not only you but all who are listening to me today may become what I am, except for these chains." (I switched translations on ya, aka this one was NIV).

Screeching Halt!

This is what hit me.  This is exactly what I've been feeling recently.  There has been an immense desire to spread the Gospel within me recently.  To be completely honest, I knew the feeling was there, I just didn't know how strong it was until I read this verse.  I want my brothers and sisters; aunts and uncles; friends and enemies to get to know Jesus!

I want them to feel peace when life around them feels pathetic;
I want them to feel loved when they are at their least lovable state;
I want them to feel joy so high that they can't even put it to words;
I want them to feel Jesus ya'll.
I want them to feel Jesus.

It's never driven me this crazy before.  Maybe it's because I'm in the process of switching careers within the next few days.  Maybe it's because I've found a church home and subsequently have become loyal to it (shoutout to Spirit & Truth Fellowship).  I can't explain it.  I just want everyone to know Jesus, my Christ, my God, my Jehovah.

I know this is an abrupt way to end this blog, but I Can't Hold It!

Thanks for reading!

I Can't Hold It - Byron Cage

Where Do I Go From Here? (Reprised)

The title of the first "blog" that I ever construed back in 2007 was "Where Do I Go From Here?"  A question that many of us continuously ponder from day to day, hour-2-hour, and minute-to-minute.  I thought I had it all figured out.  I thought I understood what I am called to be.  But the deeper I dig, the more confused I become.  The mantra that I held while I was finishing high school has not become any clearer now that I've been out of college and integrated into the adult life.  Wasn't this thing called life supposed to make more sense??

That's probably the reason I haven't been blogging recently; there are so many underdeveloped thoughts in my head that I can't get it out to form a complete thought.  Or worse, as I work on the process to compile a complete thought I end up spiraling into a wave of confusion.  It feels like my brain isn't able to fully process anything.  My humanly, finite brain isn't able and it's frustrating.

Sure I've tried to talk about it to others.  My relationship with my parents hasn't been stronger since pre-teen years.  But religiously, ever night, I spiral into this deep sense of establishing my worth.  When I say my worth, I don't mean it in the negative way because believe me, I know to whom I am.  I am a child of the Most High King and as that child, I know where I'm going once that one glad morning happens.

No, when I say my worth, I mean what am I supposed to be doing on this planet.  How can I be the best person I possibly can in the church, in the workplace, in my family, and with my friends.  If you have any answer besides the cliched one I welcome them.  In church I often feel, to take the words of a former substitute teacher: "lost-in-the-ghetto-sacuce."  At work I'm now changing mindsets and paths thus having absolutely no clue where it's leading.  With my family, I'm consistently trying to bring us all together by being more societal driven by fighting back our urges to be individual robots.  And with my friends, oh with my friends, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.  We'll leave it at that.

It's suffice to say that I'm lost.  It's not a coincidence that my recent studies have evolved around Job and the Psalms.  The theme of desertion is plastered throughout those pages along with the thought of whether God is really listening and if so, where is he?  Why aren't my ways his ways?  Why aren't my thoughts his thoughts?  I want to be like David- a man after God's heart but I don't feel it...

Remember.

Hope in God.

Trust.

Those are the three words that are continually echoing in my head.  Maybe it's because I just got finished reading Ps 42 and 43 where hope in God and remembrance with a dabble of trust are sprinkled in the literature.  God is present.  Jesus is alive and is coming back.  I look back and remember the sacrifice that my God made and all the wonderful works that he's done in the lives before, around, and in me.  Through that remembrance I find a hope in God. A hope that I'm not going through all of this confusion and questions for no reason.  Hope that there is a great plan because sometimes there doesn't feel like one.  One of the products of hope is faith (Hebrews 11:1).  The product of faith is trust.

Any time I think about trust, I'm always brought back to a Donnie McClurkin song that reminds us that we need to trust in God.  Remembering helps us hope which helps us trust..

I don't know if this is going to help anyone out there.  This could be something that I'm just going through that no one else is struggling with.  But if you're out there and reading this now, I want to remind you to just trust Jesus.  That's what I'm (trying) to do.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Prov. 3:5-6

That my friends, is what I'm trying to do.  

Take care everyone,
-MJA