Get Out Of My Life!

Do you have that thing?  Do you have that thing that you can't get rid of?  That fallacy that will probably follow you for the rest of your life...That weakness that you have that you consistently have to keep it under grips or else it can ruin your life.  That burning desire that you just have to constantly be aware of or else it can consume you and those around you...

Of course you do.  We all do. We are broken, sinful people that are just screwed up.  We all have fallacies but we all have that one major fallacy.  For me, mine always seems to come out at the most inopportune times.  At times when I'm the most vulnerable. And to be honest, it's only my the grace of God that I don't allow it to consume those around me.

You know what I'm talking about.  That issue that you have that you hide.  That problem that you lock deep down inside of you.  You can't let anyone see it.  It's just between you and God right?  The Apostle Paul knew exactly what was going on. 

"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleased with the Lord to take it away from me." - 2 Cor. 12:7-8

A messenger of Satan to torment you.  Does anyone here know what I mean??  TORMENT, won't leave you alone! Why can't these thoughts just leave my head...Why do I have this huge flaw?  I've asked God to take it away.  To fully cleanse me of this issue but He hasn't.  Are you listening to me God?  I need to stop, I need to fully take charge of my life.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties   For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Cor. 12:9-10

Why does Paul, why do you, why do I have this thorn in the flesh?  For one, it's to stop us from being conceited   But more importantly, it's so we realize...we recognize that it is literally only by the Grace of God that we are able to control it even a little bit.  When I have my "outbreaks" I have to literally stop and pray.  It's the times when I am the weakest, when I actually paradoxically become the strongest because I'm fully relying in the Lord.

But lets not stop there because trust me, I know.  I know that sometimes I slip.  And sometimes I have to repent.  Sometimes I say or do the wrong thing.  Sometimes my weakness(es) win.  And for that, I'm coming to realize that I need to tell someone about this.  I need someone to hold me accountable for my actions.  To check on me, to keep me grounded ya know? 

Here's the thing, I wouldn't suggest using a person that is of the gender that you are attracted to (for example, I shouldn't use a woman) because when you open up like that, feelings can become attached and if something were to happen such as a break-up, it could scar you for life.  Find someone that you can confide in.  That you can trust.  But most importantly, isn't afraid to get into your face and tell you to STOP IT. Or at least that's what I've realized.  I've come to the point where I keep losing.  My thoughts, my actions are failing.  My willpower is becoming futile.  I need help.  I need help from a brotha.  

You need help.  My brotha, you need to be able to trust another man to have your back!  My sister, you need to trust ya girly to hold you accountable.  It's a scary life out there.  BUT there is hope!   I know you need some scripture  "For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them." (Matt 18:20) And a huge emphasis on the power of 2: "How could one man chase a thousand, or two put ten thousand to flight, unless their Rock had sold them, unless the Lord had given them up." (Deut. 32:30)  By yourself, you can chase 1,000, but with another...10,000.  That's kind of a big deal.

Most likely, my Thorn(s) will always be around.  Most likely, I will succumb to it.  But I know that when I fall, I won't be weak.  I'll be stronger than ever before.  However, falling into is still isn't fun.  I don't want my thorn to tear apart my future, my friends..my life. So, I'm going to chase off the ten thousand and find an accountability partner. I will NOT let this ruin me.  And I know you won't either.

--MJA