What's Goin On (Part 2)

Well, the time has come for me to make a host of enemies with the female constituents.  The first part of this blog asked women the question: What are the top 5 things that men do that anger/frustrate you?. Well, I got a host of various responses which can be found by viewing this link: What's Goin On Part 1.  I'm not gonna get too much into the details.  But, lets just say that its time for the brothas to respond!  We heard you ladies, and we took your criticism.  Now its your turn to do the same.  You can disagree with me if you want, but I'm just saying the vibes you ladies give off. 

My only hope is that I have earned the trust and respect of my women readers that you are able to read this without feeling like I'm taking a shot at ya.  This is no shot against any specific woman, but just women in general.  For this study (I feel soo professional) I interviewed 12 guys.  This number does include myself but I answered the question before I interviewed and compiled everyone else's answers.  Andddd my results are weighted just as much as every other guy.

Ok, now that we are on the same page, I'm going to present the top 5 annoyances due to women.  

I know I did the listing of the top 5 in the previous blog in descending order, but this time, I'm going to do it in ascending order to add drama. So, the 5th most responded to answer was: Dress Appeal.  What in the world do I mean by dress appeal?  Well ya know, a true/real man isn't going to want his girlfriend to dress like she's going to the club 24/7.  A real man realizes that beauty comes from within and not from without.  Yes, I would be the first person to admit that I love a woman that can dress.  One of the most attractive things for me is when a woman can out dress me, but dress isn't everything.  Especially if you are consistently showing off your B's (went over your head didn't I?)  This is a huge issue for us men that call ourselves Christians.  We try to live by a lifestyle, but the flesh is a hard thing to control and it's even harder when too much is shown.  One of the men said: "girls that feel the need to 'flaunt' themselves....like guys struggle with lust enough.  I don't need to see everything all the time."Like I said, its nice to be a good dresser, but try to control yourselves...for the benefit of us admitting struggling men.

The 4th most annoyance is: Assumptions.  Aww man, this one plays a huge role for me personally.  Assumptions...assumptions.  Women...ya'll have a habit of assuming everything about a man!  I'm going to give you a reality check: EVERY SINGLE MAN isn't a jerk!  There are legit good men out there!  One of my favorite lines that was stated by Pastor Waller is: just because you've had an experience with one bad dude doesn't make you an expert on all men just in the same way that a bad experience with one woman makes any man an expert on women.  I mean that's...just...logical.  Listen, I know you've been hurt by your love.  But seriously every guy in the world isn't out to hurt you.  Isn't out to purposefully make you cry.  To cheat on you.  As one of my brothas noted, "when girls start posting statuses on Facebook like 'all guys are jerks!' You're just not giving Mr. Right the chance to show up!  If girls don't like being called jerks, then why say something you don't like?"  OK, honestly check, I've called a girl a jerk, but I never mean it seriously (I think).  But, these assumptions doo sooo much more harm than good.  It's like you take us out of the running before we get a chance!  Just give us a chance!  Besides, my momma always said that when you assume you become the first three letter of the word...

The middle of the road annoyance which is: Devaluement.  Yep, I just made-up a word.  Devaluement. Deal with it!  What I mean when I say that word is that you say that we under--appreciate (See Part 1) ya'll and that may be true, but ya'll under-appreciate (or devalue) yourselves.  Whether it's changing your personalities just to fit in as one guy said or trying to be skinny like all the models as another guy noted, you were made in the image of God.  Come on!  You are beautiful just the way you are.  No, I'm not trying to sound like Bruno Mars, but it's true.  You need to recognize what ya'll are to us men.  You are Queens (as I said ina previous blog).  You are daughters of God!  A man I interviewed said that one of his annoyances is when a girl, "acts like a whore when they are worth so much more."  I chose to keep the exact language because it roots to the seriousness of the issue.  YOU ARE WORTH SOO MUCH MORE.  If you've never had a guy tell you that, I'm here telling you that as well as other men.

Now we are down to the top 2 responses!  Here we go!  The runner-up annoyance is: Self-Centered.  Now, I know, that word is a very harsh word.  And honestly, this is one of those lack of a better term words that encompasses a vast array of issues.  One array is when as one man noted, is when ya'll don't...can't...choose not to...control your emotions!  Men, we have a limit...a bar.  The worst thing we can call a woman is a *female dog*.  But women, ya'll just cut...to borrow from my favorite comedian Kevin Hart, when women get mad, "Ya'll see red."But this self-centered issue can stem from something as light hearted as wanting us to kiss ya'll while you are sick.  One of my friends made that observation.  He observed: "have 2 sick people isn't any better than have 1 sick person.  In fact, it's worse."  Here's a fact: we, as men, do care about ya'll.  But a relationship works two ways.  Learn to control your anger.  Don't ballon issues and make them bigger than they need to be.  I know...I know...imma man so I'll never understand women, but that still needs to be said as the intercessor.

Now the time has come!  The most noted complained by every single guy is when women are: Lying/Avoidant.  Let's see if I can simply explain what my fellas are trying to say here.

One thing I am solely noticing is that both men and women lie constantly.  But in completely different ways.  Men...we tell those stupid lies that get us in trouble or sometimes get us out of trouble (think about it....).  Women, ya'll on the other had lie by being avoidant.  You all expect us men to be mind-readers.  You say that you are fine, but in reality you aren't.  And in some situations I understand why you do it: you want the men to show that they care.  But in many other situations, it's completely unnecessary.  Or when a man asks you (genuinely) "What's wrong" and you say "nothing."  Do you understand how frustrating that is for us!?  Women...ya'll like to play games.  One of the biggest games is stating a statement that is false but you somehow expect us to know its true.  That's lying!

How does this link to avoidance though?  Well, when you avoid the situation by saying that everything is alright when it isnt...that's lying.  That's just setting us up to fail!  I like to think I'm good at reading people (at least I used to think that) but I still miss a ton of those avoidance moments.  Oorrr even worse, I assume that the lady I'm talking to is lying to me when she isn't and then I don't believe her and it just ruins everything!  One of my brothers-in-Christ quoted Proverbs 31:26 which said: "she speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."  According to him, that verse is talking about a noble woman; a wife.  And the context of him quoting that text is when a woman tried to "bait" him into asking her what's wrong.  Here's the situation if you didn't know.  If I am talking to you, that means I care about you.  You don't have to bait me in.  Just come out! But that's just me I guess(?).  If you are comfortable enough to throw out bait, then you are comfortable enough to cast the line and take a risk in catching a fish instead of a shark. (I got lost in my own metaphor but I guess I'm trying to say imma fish? maybe?)  I digressed again, but what I'm trying to say is (stealing the words from the same man): "Don't play games, just talk to me."

To wrap it all up, the top 5 annoyances are: Lying/Avoidant, being Self-Centered, the issues of Devaluement, always drawing Assumptions, and the Dress Appeal.

Now, if you made it to this part, it means that I didn't completely anger you with my observations.  Orr maybe I did and you just wanted to see some more of my invalid and asinine comments which is fine too.  I'm always open for criticism and debate (which I LOVE by the way).  But I'm just going to leave you with a statement: 

Women, I love ya'll.  I think you are the greatest thing God ever made.  But sometimes you do things that annoy me...greatly.  I hope this opens the door for the conversation and that both men and women can use both parts of the blog to learn and adapt.  Just remember that you are all queens and Daughters of the most high God!

The next part is a study on how women view other women.  As long as every woman in the world doesn't hate me for posting this, that will be an interesting study!