Blessed to be a Blessing

Here's a fact:

I've been blessed.  I have people in my life that care about me, and want to see me prosper.  But most importantly, challenge me and place high (sometimes unbearable) expectations on me.

I am a believer in the phrase, "to much is given, much is expected" (mostly because it is in the Bible Luke 12:48).  I've been given alot, so I need to be a blessing in someone else's life.  I hope people have seen the Jesus in me whether its through my ministry, through this blog, through interactions with me, or just watching me.  I take this mission very seriously so I mean it when I say: if anyone EVER needs me, even if its just for me to pray for them, I'm here.  Send me I'll Go!

I love you guys even if I don't know you.  May the Lord continue to places barriers and obstacles in your life because it will only make you stronger!  God Bless You All!

I Surrender All

There is just something special about hymns.  There's also something weird about random songs entering into my head at this time of night.  All the songs, surround one central theme, I am not in control of mine life.
My life is not mine own, to You I belong, I give myself to You.
I mean really God!  I thought we'd already had this discussion.  I'm doing what you want my to do.  But, I guess I haven't fully given everything to you.  I'm still trying to make it on my own.

You win, I've been trying to do it on my own...
But right now I gotta surrender...
you know what's best...
It's not easy waiting on you, 
It's not easy depending on you.  
But without faith, it's impossible to please you. 
So we'll stand right here...
You got Me...You Got Me!

Surrender. I. Surrender. The words of a broken sinner that has fallen in the pit and needs to be saved.  All You want to do is help me.  I just gotta say yes.  I need to recognize I need to be saved, forgiven, and loved.  Will you love me?  I already know the answer to that question.  Lord, I'm done.  I....Surrender

All To Jesus I Surrender,
All to Him I Freely Give
I Will Ever Love and Trust Him,
In His Presence Daily Live

All To Jesus, I Surrender, 
Humbly at His feet I bow
Worldly pleasures all forsaken, 
Take me Jesus, take me now!

I Surrender All! 
I Surrender All! 
All To Thee My Blessed Savior.  
I Surrender All!

Paradoxical Life

So, I'm going to seminary in the spring (I need to keep telling myself that).  But, not everyone knows that proably right after that, I'm going to go back back to college and get my paralegal cert.  I plan on being a paralegal (Thanks Meghan Markle ;) ).  I've always been intrigued by the law, so I mind as well stay involved in it right? People keep telling me that they see me as being a lead pastor eventually.  Sooooo, if that happens...

I will be living the most paradoxical lives ever.  I will be a Paralegal Pastor.  Half of the time I'll be the "head" of the church while the other half I will be getting bossed around and at the bottom of the pyramid.  I guess Jesus' command that the: "last shall be first and the first will be last" is veryyyy applicable to this situation.  I love it!

Singleness Is A Gift From God

This is probably the hardest entry I've ever made due to the fact that this is what I've been struggling the most with recently.  It takes a lot out of me to admit this, but the more I meditate, read, and discuss with people, the more I realize that: Singleness is truly a gift from God.

I used to question why people enjoyed being single.  I mean, God made us relational beings, so when someone came around that you had some attraction to, you mind as well give them a chance right? Wrong!  It doesn't work that way and I thank God it doesn't work that way. 

I can be the first to acknowledge it: it really sucks to be single sometimes.  ESPECIALLY when all your freiends tend to be in relationships (thanks Messiah College) and you become the 7th Wheel.  You contstantly battle with that nasty bug called lonliness and you have to deal with the elephant in the room that there are going to be some nights where you are going to be alone.  But maybe that's not soo bad.  (See my blog about Divine Time-Outs).  It's necessary to be alone.  It's all about your mindset.  If you go into those nights saying, "woe is me, I'm so alone," it is definintely going to be a long night.  But, if you go into it excitied, things may change.  Now why in the world would you want to get exicted?  Well, I'll tell you!  

• You get to relax with no drama (my bros know what I mean!), no issues, just you and yourself!
• You get to do some soul searching (since its basically impossible to do it when you are with others).
• You can watch your favorite movie/tv show without ANY distractions.

Now doesn't that sounds great!!  Ok, I'm not naive enough to think that that's enough to convince anyone that spending a Friday Night alone is better than with a significant other.  But, I am going to make the argument that the world NEEDS single people.

Let's put it this way: we can do things in a much easier capacity than our coupled counterparts can.  We have an essential ingrediant called freedom.  To put it simple, we only need to worry about ourselves, and we can do whatever we want (within reason) to make us happy.

To make this practical, lets just say you are a successful musician.  Always touring and away from home.  It is SOOOO much easier to do this when you are single as opposed to married.  Married musicians constantly worry about leaving their man/woman/children and gone for Lawd know how long.  BUT if you are single, you are able to just go and do yo buisness!

Another practical example, is that, in the Bible, Jesus commands us to go and disciple right?  Well, let me ask a rhetorical question.  Is it easier to care for one person or 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 or (if you are ambiitous 10)?  Obvious answer.  Single people are able to do things for the Kingdom muhch more fluently and flexibly than those encumbered by relationships.

Now don't get me wrong.  When my Miss. Amazing comes along, I (hopefully) won't hesitant to sweep her up! Best believe that!  But, stastically, you are going to spend more of your time ina relationship, as opposed to single!  Sooooooo singleness is a gift!  It's a minority in our lives.  We should embrace it and ask God: Lord, what do you want me to do with this gift of singleness in my life?  Lead me Lord, I will follow because I can do it very easily as compared to Mr. & Mrs. Smith.

Remember that emotions are only temporary, so don't let them leave a permant impact on your life! 

Weeping may endure for the night but....

--GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

Character

I'm reading a book called The Blueprint by Kirk Franklin and it is really openning mine eyes to alot of things.  You know its one of those things that has been going on in my head all the time and I think i subcounsciously knew, but now its being brought to life.  He did a section on Character.  He defines character as: "That thing that makes your eyes glow and causes people to wonder why little things don't drive you crazy."

How do you gain character?  By being tested, twisted and pulled.  The more trials you go through and survive the more you grow in faith because you realize that you can't make it without the Lord and He just keeps on keeping on pulling you out of those impossible situations.  That's why elders are as easily shaken as we youngins.  They've been through worse, they've had those sleepless nights, they've had those days where they didn't realize how they were going to feed their family.  I love it when he said:

"That's why every difficult situation, every storm in life that comes your way, has to be viewed with an eye on the truth that God allows hard times in our lives to build and devlop our character; therefore, you can't run away from every trial that comes.  Because if you do, you won't grow."

Wow, I guess Romans 8:28 is as true as it comes.  People complain (and I'm included) about how they want God to intervene in their lives and make it better.  When in actuallilty, we NEED these trials in order to become more godly men and women.  Building character is like lifting weights or training.  If you keep on doing the same amount every time you will reach a peak and never get stronger.  But keep on adding trusting that God is your "spotter" and he won't let you die.  Trust...oh such an hard thing.

So, I challenge you to accept these challenges to build your character.  I challenge myself to accept these challenges.  As much as I moan and complain, when it all comes down to it, all these things are happening to make me a better man of God.  For that my friends, it's worth it.

It's Over

There's a time and place for everything...Everything has a life cycle...and every cycle has a life cycle and it seems like mine has come to an end and WOW what a journey it has been. I'm going to make this my culmination over the past 4 years in how I've grown and learned.

Freshman Year:
Coming into Messiah, I did not know what I was doing.  I had a girlfriend (as most freshies) and I was nervous about this next step in my life.  After about a month of hanging out with my roommate, I started to establish new friends whom I'm honored and proud to have still to this day.  However, not everything was great.  Yes, October was the month I became legal, but it was also the month Marquel died and the month I broke up with my high school sweet heart.  Man, I thought I had to together, but I really didn't!  In school and in choir I was quiet, but when I spoke up I was arrogant, thinking that I knew what I was doing, it was just..bad. I survived freshman year however, only by the grace of God because by the end of that summer, I was in a huge pile of dudu and it was no one's fault but my own.

Sophomore Year:
 Sophomore year was probably my favorite year.  I opened it up by getting rid of old baggage and it really freed me up (I would discover how later in life).  My grades were steadily increasing and I was just figuring things out alot better.  I developed a very close relationship with my now God-Brother, Calvin Tucker which I am incredibly thankful for.  Eventually, I got with another girlfriend whom I probably had the best relationship with. I mean she was the main reason I started to go back to church (CLA) because my old home church left me scarred.  By this point, I really felt like I was finding my place in society.  I mean, I was rooming with my best friend, James, and life was grand!  Until the end of the summer when I arbitraily killed things by breaking up with her.  To this day, I don't know what was going through my hand/what I was thinking. Alas, life goes on.

Junior Year:Aww man, this was my 1st year at the Student Director of UVP.  Man, we had developed some issues that really stretched me but now that I look back at it, it was just a test to make me stronger.  Me becoming the leader of the choir was an incredibly humbling experience and it taught me patience...soooo much patience.  I mean the theme for Junior year was: patience.  Whether it was relationally, socially, or academically.  Academically this was my best year.  Yes, I got into another relationship which, yep, you guessed it, I ended it.  Ending this year just brought the thought in my head of: aww man, im graduating next year....nbd.

Senior Year: This year is/was/has been THE most signinicant/interesting year.  The first semester, I got myself in trouble, doing things, placing myself in situations where I just continually got hurt.  But at the same time, there were significant strides happening that would foreshadow next semester.  One of the most signinicant developments is that, during the summer, I had drawn very close to a man of latino descent, Moises, who out of everyone else, probably payed the biggest role of this particular year.
The most significant/life altering event happened during Christmas Break.  During Christmas Break, God was working on me.  Making me realize...making me surrender my life and giviving it to Him.  It was at this point where I realzied the TRUE calling for my life and that I needed to embrace it...The MINISTRY.  (now I don't have enough time to get into the story but it was huge).  After that surrenderance, man, things CHANGED.  Mine eyes were illuminated and I realized that I had become something that I always dreaded: a player.  I looked at women as objects to be obtained and once I was done with them: bye bye.  Well, God doesn't illuminate our eyes just for the heck of it.  Something needed to change within myself and something was changing.  But, I needed to confess my sins..I needed to apologize.  So I did.  I apologized to a handful of women that had been impacted by my mindset, by my acts. And if you know anything about me, you would know that that was probably the hardest things I've ever done..but it had to be done.

Ever since then, theres been something different about me.  I love life.  And for the 1st real time in my life, I'm embracing my singleness.  Theres nothing I can do about my past but the bible says (somewhere) that when we are in Christ, we are a new creation, old things have passed.  I've moved forward ya'll, and I'm not planning on turning back.

Ok, this has gone LONG enough.  I'm just thankful for all the friendships that I've accumulated in this past 4 years.  Man, I don't know what I wouldve done without my friends, foreal.  I love them, and I will continually be there for them and I hope they really know that.  Looking back at my 4 years, I am amazed at the transformation that happened and there's only one person, one entity that could be responsible for this: me. Just Kidding.  I give all honor and glory to my risen Savior, Jesus Christ.  Without Him, without the Spirit, without God I couldve been dead somewhere.  Matter of fact, theres a good chance I should've been dead.  So, if you are an underclassman reading this, just keep trekking through your 1, 2, or 3 years left in college.  You never know what knew surprises you are going to encounter or lessons you are going to learn.  Take it from me, my most impactful/biggest/lesson-learning year was my last.

I really wish I had more time here, but its over.  I feel like God is pulling me towards a particular direction, but to be honest, I'm scared to death.  But I know one thing for sure: my God will NEVER EVER EVER EVER leave me nor forsake me.  That's a promise I can BANK on.