Ok now that that is out the way let me get to the real point. If you know anything about my parents and their relationship, you would know that it is a weird one. My mom says that her greatest mistake was ever marrying my dad. With that being said, lets talk about that four letter word that can strike fear in even the toughest man's psyche: L-O-V-E.
Despite the issues that they have had, despite the fact that my dad is a curmudgeon at all times, my mom still loves it. At the same note, my mom probably doesn't communicate the way that my dad would like her to and the fact that she doesn't spend as much time home as he wishes at times, they still love each other.
It's hilarious to see what 36 years of marriage will do to a couple. They know each other idiosyncrasies to a T but despite that, they both try to do things they aren't supposed to do. No, I'm not talking about illegal measures, but little things such as pushing their bodies to limits it can't handle and then they yell at each other (my dad calls these, discussions).
Still despite getting on each others nervess (my mom's nerves more than my dad's) they still love each other. It's crazy. It's incomprehensible to me. It's ridiculous that two people can be in so much love but rarely say it to each other. A conversation that happens in the household is as follows:
Dad: I love you.
Mom: You Better.
Hil-a-rious. I'm not going to lie, at times in my life I wasn't sure whether my mom really loved my dad but after recent events, I'm reminded that their mutual love runs deeper than I even imagined.
My dad has recently had his 3rd back surgery in 5 or 6 years. Ever since the surgery my mom has been the general of the house. She's making sure my dad doesn't do anything detrimental to his health. She's protecting him, caring for him, and it's amazing to watch especially for me because I NEVER see that type of affection between my parental units.
The day my dad was released from the hospital he received shaking news. For the purposes of confidentiality, I'm not going to disclose the news. However, I will say that I've only seen my dad tear up once before that moment. I didn't know what to do, but then I saw my mother provide the first ounce of wifely affection I've seen in my life. She grabbed his hand immediately and talked to him. That BLEW MY MIND.
That single moment has been running through my head on replay as a reminder that there was a reason they were married. They were both my age at one time. They both probably had their doubts about relationships and life in general, but they made a commitment to spend their lives together and they are upholding it. I'm blessed you guys. I am an black male in an urban setting with both of my parents still upholding their matrimonial vows that they took over three and a half decades ago.
My mom might not be the perfect Proverbs 31 woman. And my dad might not be the perfect 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:5-9 man. But praise the Lord they are trying!
They truly, in their own quirky way, represent the love. I can only hope and pray that one day I may have a relationship as fruitful, but maybe not as weird, as theirs. They have successfully modeled to me the idea of commitment. The idea of a lifelong commitment. If I do end up getting married to a beautiful soul, I will remember their relationship (at least I hope I do).
This isn't a fix-it blog. Rather this is an encouragement blog. To let my readers out there know that there is hope. Let everyone know that vows and commitments are a real thing. To prosper through the tough and weird times with you future or current spouses because you never know who's watching and looking to emulate.
With that being said, lets play a real lovin song!
