Have you ever gotten to the point where you've felt like you've compromised, and compromised, and comprised just to make the other person happy? Compromise at the heart of it, is a great thing to keep the peace. It's a great thing to do when you have a relationship that you deem is "worth-it." But when is too much compromising too much? Now I know that phrase might've been a little confusing but think about it. At what point in your life are you willing to absolutely say: No, I cannot do that. I like/love you, but theres just somethings I cannot accept, there are certain things I cannot compromise to. Where do you draw the line?
I'm writing this blog entry to challenge someone out there. Not to over-compromise...no, something deeper, something more important than that...
What is your bottom line? Ya know in marketing, companies have a bottom-line which is the least amount of money they can make and still survive, and still be successful If the line is too low, they will certainly struggle through the life of the business, but if the line is too high, they'll push away too many people and ultimately lose money in our capitalistic system. So the bottom-line is the happy medium between too much and too little. Just the right amount to keep the right amount of people around. Just the right amount to know who's their real friend. Just the right amount to know who really supports them and...oooh...I kinda went off topic there a little bit. But we, as humans, need to have a bottom line.
Unlike companies, our bottom line isn't necessarily to keep people or keep away from people, but our bottom line (or standard) is what makes us, us! I'm looking around at my generation, seeing the things that people are doing and while I don't hate them for what they are doing, I can still fundamentally disagree with them and choose not to participate in that practice. I have a standard. I have a bottom-line that I will never cross again. Unfortunately, in my short life span I've broken my bottom-line. I've done things I said I would never do and in the end, it hurt me. In the end it hurt those around me. You have to have a bottom line my brothers and sisters.
Here's the thing though, in order to have a bottom-line that's worthy of being broken, you have to have a bottom-line to begin with! No (mature) person genuinely wants to hang around a "yes-man." Someone that you know is down for whateva. Someone that will never disagree with you. Someone that just goes with the flow at all times. That interpersonal relationship at the heart of it is shallow, it's a mile wide but only an inch deep. We need to get to the point where we have a set values that we treasure and will not budge on. Everything else in our life is disputable and open for discussion but these 3 or 4 things are not. They are on the DO NOT DISTURB LIST.
Yes, I am a Christian and I will love you for who you are. But my man, I gotta be honest with you, I don't agree with you sexin' up all those ladies like they are your property. My lady, you are more than your body, don't let any ol guy be able to pick you up and steal your jewels. When is enough...enough?
Yes you are going to lose friends, yes you may lose some cred for doing that but lets be honest, it's better to keep (gain) your soul than gain the whole world. And I can tell you this, if you make your DO NOT DISTURB list now, people might not like you initially. In fact there's a great chance you'll lose relationships. However, in the long run, you will gain more respect for yourself and ultimately gain more respect from others. How many people know that life is a marathon not a sprint. We have to stop living in the moment with losing sight to our future. I know that our culture tells us YOLO which at the heart of it is true. But the things you YOLO can turn you into a HOBO down the line. Yeahhh I know that was really rough.
I'm going to end it like this: God has a standard. It's all written out for us in His Word right? When we choose not to agree or follow his standard he doesn't go chasing after us. Overall he protects us, but when we are rebellious he doesn't protect us from "all hurt harm and danger." He gives us his bottom line, and if we don't like it, we can (and often do) hit the road. But, when we come around and understand why He had his standards don't we appreciate him more? Don't we respect him more? (Check out the Prodigal Son story and imagine the father is God --Luke 15:11-32) It's not unChristian to dislike what a friend of yours is doing. It's not unChristian to tell someone that you don't agree with what they are doing. It's not unChristian to just let people go if you don't agree with them. It IS unChristian to hate people for what they do. It IS unChristian to keep everything in. And ultimately, it IS unChristian to just let people walk all over your bottom line like they own it.
When do you say that enough is just enough. You have crossed the line and I can't do it anymore. What is your Bottom Line?
--MJA
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