The Christian Lovers' Dilemma

One day, when I die and go to heaven, I'm going to ask God, why did you make men and women soo different?  We are soo different and yet, for the most part, we can't stay away from each other.  Now whether that's a good thing or bad thing is TBD but this blog is about relationships.  I'm not in a relationship.  In fact I'm nowhere close to a relationship, but I've read a ton about relationships and I was told I give good advice, so I'm going to give this a try.

This blog right here, is dedicated to all my Christian Lovers.

Ya know, as a Christian it's tough.  We have to "deal" with all the things that a normal person has to deal with but we also have to "deal" with a spiriutal aspect.  We have to constantly make sure that we and the Man Upstairs are on the same wave length.  We have to consistently check to make sure that it's our Father's will that we do X or Y and sometimes we don't even recieve an audible answer so we go around blind hoping that we are making the right decision.

This is especially tough in the dating/relationship realm.  What's the proper way for a Christian to date? (Yeaaa...I'm not gonna go there) However, one problem that I've had in the past is the mindset.  Too many Christians, especially younger ones have this non-biblical principle that says that: "God has this perfect person out there that is perfect for me, all I have to do is meet her/him and everything will go smoothly."  Am I bowling down your alley?  My peeps, our concept of The One is.NOT.biblical.  If you go through your life turning down he's and she's looking for your Mr. Perfect, you are going on a wild goose chase.

Yes, I do believe that God has a plan for your life and every once ina while God does seem to pull you in one direction or another but I do not believe that God tells John Doe that he will meet Jane Doe on December 21, 2012 (when the world ends).  Noooooooooo.  We have free will.  God knows ultimately what we are going to do, and there are some people more compatiable than others for us, but there isn't that one person.  We need to get out that mindset.  Let's consider the compaitable beings as little tugs from God that this person is a possibility.

Once you get locked out of that mindset, you my friends are liberated.  I know I was!  You no longer look into ever person and think: OMG is this The ONE.  Getting to know people is about having fun.  We Christians are guilty of stressifying the dating period soo much that we lose sight of the true meaning of dating.  Everyone you go on a date with shouldn't feel like they are filling out a husband/wife application.  Nein! In the get-to-know phase you do exactly that: you _________________.  Find out their interests.  Find our their passions.  If you look at this phase as having fun, you're en route to living a less stressful life!

But wait there's more!  Actually, I held back on ya'll a little.  The concept of The One is biblical.  The One I'm talking about is Jesus. God is supposed to be first in foremost in our lives.  And logically if God is first, then maybe, just maybe, we need to start looking for Number Two.

Whoa.  Number two?  That's radical and yes, you can slap me later on.  But think about it.  Let it marinate in your noggin.  You can't have two number ones can ya?  Just a thought...

But seriously people, we need to revamp our thoughts.  If you are in a relationship and you are thinking about getting out of it because the person isn't you're Mr. Perfect but you are crazy about the person nonetheless, don't be naive and do that to yourself.

I'm going to let everyone in on a secret.  No matter who you date.  No matter who you marry. No matter...you are going to have arguments.  They are going to drive you crazy?  Why?  Because you are two different people with two different opinions/interest/livelihood.

I'm going to take off my Perfect-Christian Mask and say that I get angry at God.  Me and God bicker quite often. Sooooooo, if I disagree and question the LORD, why would I think that my relationship with another sinner like me will go smooth?  Stop having this expectation my brethren.  You are ruining chances with great people and you are ruining great relationships.

With the fact that relationships are tough in your head, I need to press you on one more issue. People give up on things wayy too quickly.  When the going gets tough, we run. We're afraid.  We give up. ESPECIALLY in relationships (I am one of the biggest culprits of this).  But somehow.  Somehow we think that we can grow.  We can grow closer to our guy. Grow closer to our girl and not work at.  Here's a question: What, if anything, can you do where you stop working on it, and still have growth?
*Insert Cricket Sounds*

So then why do we magically think that we can just go through relationships half hearted and expect them to become fruitful.  Why do we think that you are supposed to be happy evvvvery day in a relationship or else boo-boo gots to go?  Why do we think that this girl isa dime, and my girl is getting on my nerves, so I can just do a lil sumthin sumthin and it'll be ok?  Why don't we work on our re-lation-ships? If you are at the point where the grass looks greener, then you need to nurture and water your lawn!

If you aren't mature enough to handle the ups and downs of a relationship, then you probably shouldn't be in one! (Ouchie)  Relationships take commitment and growth.

So what am I trying to say?  Have fun in the getting to know phase.  Don't stress about whether that person can fill out your marriage application because who knows how much your app will change when you're ready to get married. We need to get rid of the myth of the "one"  God will order our steps using His Word (Psalm 119:133) as a map but he will never tell you that you HAVE to do X.  Remember that.

When you do find that person you want to settle down with, don't give up.  If you really lovve them, you wouldn't give up so easily.  In order to have growth you have to...have to...have to work at it!

Overall, I think we need a changing.  A shifting of the phrase.  I'm looking for Miss. Perfect.  I'm looking for The One is no acceptable.  God has placed people in your lives that are compatible to you. Not perfect, but pretty darn close.  However, He wants you to seek him first.  So, I don't know about you, but I'm excited for my Number Two.