No more silence

My morning routine consists of my alarm going off precisely at 6:55 am and immediately I turn on my television.  There I turn to ABC and see the last second weather forecast for the day and prepare for Good Morning America (GMA).  This particular morning, December 4, 2014, I uncovered something that shocked me.


We are a nation incredibly divided on this issue and it is tearing me apart.

Take a second a look at the numbers again, this time focusing solely on the grand jury decision portion.  Half of America agrees with the grand jury's decision and the other half doesn't.  Fine.  But let's look at the racial divide.  60% of whites agree while 40% disagree...10% of blacks agree while 90% of blacks disagree.

We've all seen commercials or informercials where they say that 9 of 10 {fill in the blank} agree that {fill in the black}.  Why is that phrase so widely used?  Because usually we are led to believe that there will always be "that one person" who disagrees, but we are supposed to go with the over whelming majority right?

Lets forget the facts of Ferguson and whether justice was done shall we?  Why do you think that 90% (or 85% if you're trying to be cute) think that there is something wrong?  Probably because there is.  I'm not concerned on whether you think that justice is rightly administered, I have people that I hold a ton of respect to give split answers, my problem is the fact that this is such a racially divisive subject.

90% of blacks are saying that there is something wrong.  Let me repeat that: ninety percent.  And I hear some of my fairer skinned brothers and sisters indicate that in some way there is an overreaction?  There's no way that I can get on board with that.  I can't be silent anymore.

Through Trayvon Martin ordeal I was silent because I respect the court system too much.  This decision to not indict Officer Wilson did not surprise me.  What did surprise me was the backlash I received.  This recent incident with Eric Garner admit-tingly surprised me.

These issues have uncovered an issue that is continuously swept under the rug because it's uncomfortable.  That issue is that there is a huge stereotyping problem.

I've seen this photo circulate a ton and I refused to repost it only because it's missing the point:

Yes, there are exceptions to every rule.  But let us do an experiment.  To all of my white brothers and sisters out there, why don't you ask 5 people of color if they ever had a crude experience of being negatively stereotyped and how that made them feel.  Then ask them for another.  This post is to my white brothers and sisters.  No, we aren't crazy.  No, we aren't all overreacting.  Yes, there is a huge problem.
But I have hope that this can be rectified.  I have hope that we can look upon each other and see the real person underneath the melanin.  I have this hope and i will NOT let it die.
People are telling me that I'm wasting my time because the difference is too vast.  I'm sorry but I must disagree.  While none of my fairer skinned friends will not understand how it feels to feel like you're being condemned because of your skin tone, they can empathize and somewhat have compassion on it.
Jesus, my role model, was a man of compassion.  He had love for everyone, especially those that were different than he.  This is my plea to America.  Please understand that we, as a African American community, are deeply hurt by this issue.  We are consistently negatively stereotyped and it all comes from fear.  Please don't fear us.  Please don't be afraid of us...me.  I just want to be loved and loved back. But I can no longer sit back and be idle.  I can't and I won't.

-MJ

Break My Heart For What Breaks Yours?

You know the songs:

Break my heart for what breaks yours;
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause;
As I walk from earth into eternity.
~Hosanna - Hillsong UNITED

Father, break my heart for what breaks yours;
Give me open hands and open doors;
Put your light in my eyes and let me see;
That my own little world is not about me.
~My Own Little World - Matthew West

Oh Jesus, friend of sinners;
Open our eyes to the world at the end of our pointing fingers;
Let our hearts be led by mercy;
Help us reach with open hearts and open doors.
Oh Jesus friend of sinners: break our hearts for what breaks yours.
~Jesus, Friend of Sinners - Casting Crowns

To name a few.

But do we REALLY want that?  Do we want our hearts and sould moved with compassion at the"least of these." Do we want to look around and see so much pain that our hearts break with every turning? Do we want to see the begger and instantly feel compassion? Empathy is a scary thing ya'll.

One thing that I'm realizing is that we can't just stop there.  We can't end the prayer there.  Look at the above lyrics.  Every single time it's preceded or followed by action.  We can't just look around and so "ooh that's bad" and just move on with our lives.  The purpose of the heart breaking is to cause us to move into action.  We all have different gifts and talents to help this world in some way.  Don't believe me? Check out Romans 12.  I guarantee you'll find something in there that you have the absolute capability of doing.

My heart broke earlier today.  But at the same time, I feel much more motivated to enact change.  Even if it's a little change, I'm going to try.  Even if I don't see results, I have to press on because I don't know the work to Jesus is doing in their life.

Don't just pray the simple prayer if you're not ready to do the HUGE action.

It's Your Life

I once heard this quote from a very influential man of whose name I can't remember for the life of me.  It goes as follows:

"No one has as much grace for your life as you."- Unknown Preacher-Man

Ever since I heard it, it has been stuck in my head forever.  I use it when I talk to anyone and everyone that will listen because of the validity it portrays.  If I was honest, it took me a while to process the full meaning of this line and have come to the conclusion that at the heart of it, it's stating that no one can live your life.  No one has the ability to live your life.  No one has enough patience to live your life.  In simple words:  It's Your Life.

One of the worst Worst WORST things that I believe any Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Jew, Atheist, Agnostic, or human in general can do is start off a sentence with these six words: "If I were you I would..."  Here's the thing...You aren't me!  You absolutely do not live my life.  There is no way you can fully feel what I feel.  You don't deal with the intricacies of the daily seconds of my life.

Regardless of how much empathy you think you possess, there is no way empathy can enable you to live my life.  Empathy only allows you to feel what I feel for that moment (s) in life.

Let me be clear, this is not a response to what anyone has said or done to me; it's just a thought that's come over me my brothers and sisters.  The most well intentioned person can do irreparable damage just by uttering that phrase or like-minded phrases.

Whenever you are facing any decision in your life where the two roads seem equally muddy and none look like the less traveled one, the best thing I can give you is an over-flowing fountain of prayer.  I can give you advice in the form of the examples of what I've done in my life enduring a similar situation but I can not equate your life with mine.  You have to live your life and I have to live mine.

What you can do for yourself is ask God for help.  The book of Proverbs talks about Wisdom and gives wisdom of feminine personification.  Wisdom and discernment is attainable in any situation when you ask for it.  The Psalms remind us that God will give us the pleasures of our hearts. (Psalm 37:4)  If it's something that our heart earnestly yearns for and if it is to give God glory, God will give it to us.

For those of us that are dealing with tough decisions, I "advise" you to take it to God in prayer.  For those of us that are in the business of having to constantly give advice, I beseech you to refrain from uttering those consecutive words.  If you really want to help that person, pray for them, listen to them, be present for them, and above all else, love them.

Remember It's Your Life.  I can walk with you side-by-side but I can't live it for you or else I might have to pull out my hair..

Be safe out there.

--MJA

It's A Beautiful Day in The Neighborhood

If you are around the age that I am (20s - 30s) you would remember growing up to a very familiar theme song:

Would You Be Mine;

Could You Be Mine;

Won't you be My Neighbor

Ok. Ok. Let me admit part of me really just wanted to post this video for childhood flashbacks, but there's a serious reason for this song.  It's surrounded by the element of a being a neighbor.  In Luke 10: 25-37 Jesus introduces us to the Parable of the Good Samaritan.

This is a very familiar passage and if you haven't read it before, I advise you to.  But to give a brief synopsis:

A lawyer approached Jesus asking him the requirements for eternal life.  Jesus cleverly asked the lawyer what does the law state (the Old Testament).  The lawyer responded from a passage found in Deuteronomy 6:5 & Leviticus 19:18 which said: "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength  and with all your might, and 'your neighbor as yourself.'"  Then the lawyer asked Jesus who his neighbor was, to which Jesus told him the parable:

A man was walking along a road and was robbed by thieves who robbed him, stripped him, and left him half dead.  As he was laying half dead, a priest saw him but walked on the other side of the road, another religious man  saw him, looked at him, and then passed on the other side, but, a Samaritan (whom Jewish people hated) saw him and had compassion on him.  So, the Samaritan fixed up his wounds and took him to an inn.  The next day, the same (hated) Samaritan payed the innkeeper to supply housing for the man.

At the end of this parable Jesus asked the lawyer who was the victim's neighbor to which the lawyer would've reluctantly replied, the Samaratain.

Wow, that was a longer synopsis than I expected, but what really stood out to me was what my Study Bible called: A Collection of Attitudes.  This looked at the the 5 characters of the parable and how they reacted to the situation.

To the lawyer, the wounded man was a subject to discuss.  This is was just a parable to discover the definition of a real neighbor, the lawyer wasn't there, it was just a topic.

To the thieves, the wounded man was someone to use and exploit.

To the religious men, the wounded man was a problem to be avoided.  They didn't want anything to do with the man, they just walked on the other side.

To the innkeeper, the wounded man was a customer to serve for a fee.

To the Samaritan, the wounded man was a human being worth being cared for and loved.

To Jesus, all of them and all of us were worth dying for.

Wow.  What a collection of attitudes gleaned from this parable.  I'm not here to lecture anyone of the negatively depicted attitudes and neither was Jesus.  The who point of this discuss can be found in verse 37 where Jesus tells the man, "Go and do likewise."

Who's our neighbor?  Anyone & everyone but especially those that are going through hard times be it finically, emotionally, mentally  and any other -lly you can think of.  We as believers should be drawn to those that are hurting, not run away from them or just casually walking on the other side.  We are called to go.  So we should go!

So, Would You Be My; Could You Be My; Won't You By My Neighbor!

For Colored Girls

There is a reason that at the moment in my life that I'm reading a book to become a better man (Kingdom Man by Tony Evans), at a time where I'm struggling to find out who I am in relation to woman, I just happen to fall across a movie that places me into a vortex of thoughts and emotions.

That movie is For Colored Girls which is directed by Tyler Perry featuring an all African American cast.  The movie centers around nine separatred but yet intertwined black woman who all share their own struggles (albeit some worse than others).  I can't as a black man directly relate to their experiences per se, but I can feel it.  I can feel the hurt.  I can feel the shame.  I can feel the pain.  I can feel the disappointment.  I can feel the...the emotions.

What the heck is going on men? That's a question that is continuously echoing in my head.  I know we aren't perfect, but seriously bros.  We can do better.

Yes, there was a silver lining in the movie: aka 1 good black man in the ENTIRE movie (which I don't believe to be completely true).  However the point still stands.  Why are all the Adam's out there leaving the Eve's on their own.  Why are we constantly hurting them?  Is there something about our DNA.  I really don't know.

Fatherless homes?  Babies making babies? Abuse? Neglect? Sin?

In Kingdom Man, Dr. Tony Evans made a statement that I couldn't register until now.  He basically said that if you don't love being a man, then there is something wrong with you.  And after watching this movie, and all the hell my counterparts go through, I absolutely know that God knew what he was doing in making me a man. A Man of Color.  Because Lord knows, what I would end up doing if I was in the position that some of my sisters were in.

I do understand that this is a movie and al ot of it is dramatized, but the principle sticks in.  Black Women have it rough.  You have the media telling you to straighten your hair, you have the magazines telling you that being dark is out, you have your dads telling you that ain't good enough (if they are even in the picture).  You have your hearts continuously being stomped on and trashed and for what?  So a dude like me can have you for a moment and when he gets tired of you he just goes on to something better.

No, that just isn't right!

I know I've said this before, but now I feel it with much much more conviction: Women Are A Gift From God.  We need to start treating you like it.  Until I feel mature enough to handle my insecurities, whom I am, I don't deserve as a man, as an aspiring Kingdom Man to be part of this continual rinse cycle that's degraded, dehumanizing, and just debilitating these Black Queens.

I'm only speaking for myself here.  Me, Michael Adams, young African American Man.  You have the absolute right to hold me to these words; they aren't going anywhere.  I pray that Jesus continues to transform my heart so that I can be like David (a man after God's Heart--Acts 13:22).

This is just ridiculous.

--MJA

How To Love

I am currently reading a book by Bishop TD Jakes (whom I designate as one of the wisest men alive) called Let It God: Forgive so that you can be forgiven.  This reading focuses on the many aspects of our day-to-day lives and how the unforgiving heart can stunt our growth in every conceivable way.  I absolutely had to read this book since my first sermon was on forgiveness.  So let me preface this blog by saying that the main idea came from Bishop Jakes.
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I am one emotional man.  I will be the first to admit it.  Sometimes during movies I can feel a tear coming during those impactful scenes (but for the record, I don't cry!).  It's easy for me to admit that my emotions made me who I am today.  Although most of the times I shade them and hide them until I can't control them anymore (which can be good and bad), I am no longer ashamed to admit that I am just an emotional man.

One of issues that really has an impact on my heart is self-love.  Maybe it's because I grew up with 3 older women or maybe it's another reason, but my heart goes out to people who don't love themselves and just beat themselves up on a daily.  I just want to wrap them in a love that tells them that they are worth more; tell them that they are loved...

I am privileged to have grown up in a stable home with both parents fully present.  I'm not just privileged to have that, I'm blessed.  The older I get the more I realize that my nuclear family is becoming the exception rather the rule especially in the urban context that I grew up in.  I've never had to question my parents support for me even when I do something that was to their disproval.  So that no matter what, I felt loved.  Even before I fully comprehended my Christian faith, I felt the love of Christ on my life.

Growing up with that blessing, I've come to realize that many people don't have that.  Some people grow up with their mom and/or dad talking down on them.  Making them believe that they will fail.  Or even worse patronizing them for their errors over and over again.  And if one of you are reading this, I am, from the pit of my heart, very sorry.

I'm not hear however for a pity party.  I'm hear to just say that regardless of the past, you can move forward.  For every time someone tells you that you can't, God tells you that you can thrice that!  Sometimes it's hard to believe to understand without feeling the love or support growing up that you can't do it.  As a result you take it out on your self with self-mutilation, depression, anxiety.

Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, but if we don't love ourselves, how can we learn to love our neighbors.  A lot of people I know that have the issue of self-disdain treat others around them like kings and queens and then as a result get trampled on by people like yours truly   When that happens the cycle continues. Over. And Over. Again.  I can't tell you how to love yourselves.  I can only pray for you.  I can only pray from our generation.  I can only pray that you feel the unconditional love that I receive from my father. No, not my earthly father, but my heavenly father.

I can support you.  I can love on you like a brother or a sister.  I can tell you that you were made in the image of God and that God didn't make a mistake when he made you.  I can affirm you and remind you that because of God's love for you that he sent Jesus to die on the cross for your sins.  I can and will do what I can to help the hurting.

One of, if not my, favorite gospel artists is Kirk Franklin.  Kirk Franklin has an interesting story of a kid who grew up without a father, and he overheard his mother say that he was a mistake.  As a result he became a constant people pleaser, always looking for affirmation in the wrong places.  What makes him amazing is that he allows his emotions, his past, to bleed through the lyrics of some of his songs.  One song that it's evident in is called Imagine Me.  The song reminds me that no matter what your past has done to you it's gone.  Your past is literally your past.  Imagine you breaking free from the chains of bondage yesterday put you in to live today like theres no tomorrow!

Like I said, I don't have the blueprint for teaching people how to love themselves.  All I can do is point, point to the Bible, point to the cross, and point to my Father in heaven.

My heart goes out to all those that are hurting.  I pray that you discover that unconditional love and accompanied by peace.  A peace that passes all understanding.

--MJA

Imagine Me

Too Much? Maybe? Nah!

I've noticed one thing about myself.  I have this inept ability to feel others pain.  If you don't have that gift, you'll never truly understand how it feels.  With the gift comes the price: when those you see hurting or in bad situations don't want your help.  When all you can do is sit on the sidelines watching...waiting...and praying....hoping that their situation gets better or at least they will talk to you about it so you can comfort them.

I also have the God given gift to read people.  That can be entirely annoying when I don't want to read people or better yet the situation.  I cannot just simply be ina situation without my brain working 132423 mph. I observe everything from what words are said, how people are positioned, what's being worn, how many times a smile is given, but most importantly I look at the eyes.  I loooooove looking at eyes.  Especially blue eyes, there's just something about blue eyes. But, I digress (as usual).

The point is, God made me this way.  I love people.  I don't necessarily love being around people all the time, but when someone is hurting, I want to be the guy they look to.  That's especially true for my future wife out there/ nearer future girlfriend (there I go digressing again).

How do I handle being rejected?  Or even worse, pouring out all of this love onto someone but not even getting the occasional "How are You" back from them without me pressing them (which generally means it isn't genuine).  Well first off, I complain, and complain, and complain.  But after a while I get tired of complaining to my friends (which I'm doin less and less) and to God.  Eventually I just accept it and move on.  I'm in the process of doing that with some people in my life.  I can try to be there for you, I can put my emotions on the line, but you have to WANT it.

Where am I going with this?  This is kinda the same concept that we as Christians come to accept in Christ.  Christ cares about us.  Unconditionally, which is much more than I can do.  And most of the times we don't return that caring. I mean really, how many of us asks God, "Yo, how you doin?" Nooo, its not in our human nature.  But still, Christ loves the Church.  As Christians we are called to live like Jesus. Jesus is our example and the greatest commandment is to Love God, however the second one is to Love People (Matthew 22:36-40). 

Jesus can and does love us at all times.  But, in order us to fully feel that love, we have to want it.  If we don't accept him to be our Lord and Savior, you may feel the love of Christ but you won't feel the LOVE of Christ.  The love gives you peace when everything around you is ridiculous.  That LOVE gives you unspeakable joy.  It's the greatest love of all.  People say that the only human love that is unconditional is a mother's love to her child.  Well I'm here to tell you that Jesus' love is even greater than that.

So what have I weened from this situation?  I'm never going to stop caring about you.  There may come a point where I stop calling/texting/checking up on you as often as I do. But, that doesn't mean I don't care about you.  If anyone comes up to me and tells me that they are broken, I will stop everything I am doing to do whatever it takes to attempt to make you feel better.  I am aware that there are going to be times that my attempts may not be great enough, but what I do know is that I have a Friend in Jesus and I have the greatest power in the world: the power of Prayer. And that my friends, is all I ever need.