Where Do I Go From Here? (Reprised)

The title of the first "blog" that I ever construed back in 2007 was "Where Do I Go From Here?"  A question that many of us continuously ponder from day to day, hour-2-hour, and minute-to-minute.  I thought I had it all figured out.  I thought I understood what I am called to be.  But the deeper I dig, the more confused I become.  The mantra that I held while I was finishing high school has not become any clearer now that I've been out of college and integrated into the adult life.  Wasn't this thing called life supposed to make more sense??

That's probably the reason I haven't been blogging recently; there are so many underdeveloped thoughts in my head that I can't get it out to form a complete thought.  Or worse, as I work on the process to compile a complete thought I end up spiraling into a wave of confusion.  It feels like my brain isn't able to fully process anything.  My humanly, finite brain isn't able and it's frustrating.

Sure I've tried to talk about it to others.  My relationship with my parents hasn't been stronger since pre-teen years.  But religiously, ever night, I spiral into this deep sense of establishing my worth.  When I say my worth, I don't mean it in the negative way because believe me, I know to whom I am.  I am a child of the Most High King and as that child, I know where I'm going once that one glad morning happens.

No, when I say my worth, I mean what am I supposed to be doing on this planet.  How can I be the best person I possibly can in the church, in the workplace, in my family, and with my friends.  If you have any answer besides the cliched one I welcome them.  In church I often feel, to take the words of a former substitute teacher: "lost-in-the-ghetto-sacuce."  At work I'm now changing mindsets and paths thus having absolutely no clue where it's leading.  With my family, I'm consistently trying to bring us all together by being more societal driven by fighting back our urges to be individual robots.  And with my friends, oh with my friends, I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.  We'll leave it at that.

It's suffice to say that I'm lost.  It's not a coincidence that my recent studies have evolved around Job and the Psalms.  The theme of desertion is plastered throughout those pages along with the thought of whether God is really listening and if so, where is he?  Why aren't my ways his ways?  Why aren't my thoughts his thoughts?  I want to be like David- a man after God's heart but I don't feel it...

Remember.

Hope in God.

Trust.

Those are the three words that are continually echoing in my head.  Maybe it's because I just got finished reading Ps 42 and 43 where hope in God and remembrance with a dabble of trust are sprinkled in the literature.  God is present.  Jesus is alive and is coming back.  I look back and remember the sacrifice that my God made and all the wonderful works that he's done in the lives before, around, and in me.  Through that remembrance I find a hope in God. A hope that I'm not going through all of this confusion and questions for no reason.  Hope that there is a great plan because sometimes there doesn't feel like one.  One of the products of hope is faith (Hebrews 11:1).  The product of faith is trust.

Any time I think about trust, I'm always brought back to a Donnie McClurkin song that reminds us that we need to trust in God.  Remembering helps us hope which helps us trust..

I don't know if this is going to help anyone out there.  This could be something that I'm just going through that no one else is struggling with.  But if you're out there and reading this now, I want to remind you to just trust Jesus.  That's what I'm (trying) to do.

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all of your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." - Prov. 3:5-6

That my friends, is what I'm trying to do.  

Take care everyone,
-MJA

Character

I'm reading a book called The Blueprint by Kirk Franklin and it is really openning mine eyes to alot of things.  You know its one of those things that has been going on in my head all the time and I think i subcounsciously knew, but now its being brought to life.  He did a section on Character.  He defines character as: "That thing that makes your eyes glow and causes people to wonder why little things don't drive you crazy."

How do you gain character?  By being tested, twisted and pulled.  The more trials you go through and survive the more you grow in faith because you realize that you can't make it without the Lord and He just keeps on keeping on pulling you out of those impossible situations.  That's why elders are as easily shaken as we youngins.  They've been through worse, they've had those sleepless nights, they've had those days where they didn't realize how they were going to feed their family.  I love it when he said:

"That's why every difficult situation, every storm in life that comes your way, has to be viewed with an eye on the truth that God allows hard times in our lives to build and devlop our character; therefore, you can't run away from every trial that comes.  Because if you do, you won't grow."

Wow, I guess Romans 8:28 is as true as it comes.  People complain (and I'm included) about how they want God to intervene in their lives and make it better.  When in actuallilty, we NEED these trials in order to become more godly men and women.  Building character is like lifting weights or training.  If you keep on doing the same amount every time you will reach a peak and never get stronger.  But keep on adding trusting that God is your "spotter" and he won't let you die.  Trust...oh such an hard thing.

So, I challenge you to accept these challenges to build your character.  I challenge myself to accept these challenges.  As much as I moan and complain, when it all comes down to it, all these things are happening to make me a better man of God.  For that my friends, it's worth it.

Easy? Yea..Right

Matthew 10:22 Says:
"You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved."

You thought that when you dedicated your life to Christ that it would somehow become magically easy?  I mean it makes sense in theory: you dedicate your life to the Savior and He supplies all your needs and makes life easy...like the kid born with the silver spoon. Slight problem with that theory...Jesus wasn't who everyone expected him to be.  Everyone expected the "Messiah" to be a counterrevolutionary.  To over throw Caesar (the Roman Government) and to be fearless and ruthless. Well...Jesus entailed one of those characteristics, He was indeed fearless, but he was the complete opposite.  He was loving and cared for those that others persecuted.  Isn't that more reputable in the long run than the violent heroes? Due to his loving nature, no one could tear him down when at least they tortured Him, placed him ona cross ontop of a mountain, placed nails in his limbs and a crown a thorns on his head and left him to die.  It wasn't a quick death...it was a slowly slow death where one by one each organ started to die.  They say we have ten pints of blood, well just imagine the pain of each ounce of blood lost due to the piercings...what a death!

Because of that death of Jesus we cannot expect our life to be easy.  We are in fact misfits...we don't fit in in this world. We are like Katy Perry's ETs.  Chances are, most of us aren't going to become martyrs to the extent that Jesus was but we, as Christians will be hated just as they hated our Savior.

So, why would you want to be a Christian? One word: salvation.  The only thing we have as Christians is faith.  Without it, we are dead.  We have the faith that this fallen world will be changed when God calls all his saints to heaven where we will bask in his glory.

Besides, it won't be all bad.  The bible reminds us that trouble doesn't last always (Romans 8:18). Jesus makes a promise to us in the verse at the top of this blog..that those that stand firm in the end will be saved.  I fully believe every word he says.  Emotions and problems are temporary...they will all wither away but we have the Prince of Peace on our side and as the songwriter wrote: If I God is for us; then who could ever stop us. And If our God is with us; then what can stand against [us].

If you are going through something (which everyone is) just remember that God didn't promise that this was going to be easy.  In fact he was "real" with us and told us its going to be hard. However, just as the Lionel Richie song states: "Jesus is Love." The devil is the Prince of Darkness and he wants nothing more to rip, tear us, and destroy us.  But as long as you got King Jesus...you don't need nobody else. Just keep believing and keep the faith...cuz it's the only thing we have...