But seriously people, what we say, or as the bible eloquently puts it, the "power of the tongue" is a dangerous tool that we have. What you say impacts how people view you on the surface and how you view yourself under the surface. One thing that the bible continually states, both in the NT and OT is that we need to watch.what.we.say. Whether is lyin or over-truthin', we need to get to the point where we stop....and think to oneself, "Hmmm...is what I'm saying reallllllly necessary? Am I "speaking the truth in love? (Eph 4:15)." If the answer to that question is questionable (see what I did there?), then you should probably refrain from saying it in that manner.
Solomon, who was a king over Israel was known as the wisest man that ever lived. The majority of the sayings found in Proverbs are by him. Most of the Proverbs speak to laziness or wickedness, but there's one shining one found in the 18th chapter, 21st verse, that says, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue." You have the opportunity to help someone or absolutely crush someone with what you say. I don't believe that we fully grasp the weapon that we have.
He doesn't stop there though, he continues "And those who love it will eat its fruit." Those that love the power of the tongue, those of us that love to hurt other people by words. Those of us that need to tear other people down just to lift oneself up, will "eat its fruit." What does that phrase mean? It essentially means that you will use it. What you say can have some HUGE consequences for not only others, but yourself.
Lets fast forward to the New Testament and hit the ever friendly book of James, where he devotes almost an entire chapter on the tongue (3:1-12). No verse is more prevalent that the 8th verse where the author reminds us that, "no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison." Whoa. Restless Evil. Full of Deadly Poison. Next time you just blurt out an in-the-moment-extremity, be reminded how powerful your words are...
James, as he often does, leaves us slightly depressed. I mean, he clearly states that the tongue is untameable. So why even try? What's the point? All of our work is futile right? Welllll, we do we abstain from sin? We will never ever ever be able to fully control our humanly sinful nature right? Oh wait, because the wages of sin is death (Rom 6:23). Because when I'm in Christ, I'm a new creation (2 Corith. 5:17). Those seem like great reasons to at least try to tame this muscle.
What do we do? What do you do when that person that knows how to get under your skin just catches you on a bad day? What do you do when you feel like the only way your significant other will understand the gravity of their actions is if you curse them out? Is there another way to discipline your kids without yelling at them? It's hard...it's hard to control our emotions sometimes. I'm guilty of saying the wrong thing often. I've also been on the other side of a loose tongue. And I can honestly tell you that they both are sucky.
Paul has an answer, he urges us to, "Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. (Eph 4:29)" What is Paul saying her? Basically, if the motivation for what you saying to to destroy, rather than building; to degrade, rather than uplift. Then, don't say it! What's the age old phrase: "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Stop. And THINK. I'm not telling you to only say positive things. I'm not telling you to only paint the rosy picture of life because to be honest, we need to be knocked on our backs every once ina while (Especially men!) What Paul is telling you however is to stop what you are about to say and do a double check and determine if what you are saying is out of love or out of spite. There are plenty of different ways to tell your boo-boo s/he needs to relax. This method leaves room for "tough love." Just lay of the spite. There's enough spite and hate and Sphate (spite+hate) in this world. But not enough building and loving and Buloving (I think you got that one!).
Let's go people. Lets work on controlling our tongues. Lets be responsible for what we say. Lets take this responsibility over our words seriously. No one deserves to get hurt over your words. Besides, it's less work in the long run when you don't have to take your foot out of your you-know-what.
Stop. And THINK. I'm not telling you to only say positive things. I'm not telling you to only paint the rosy picture of life because to be honest, we need to be knocked on our backs every once ina while (Especially men!) What Paul is telling you however is to stop what you are about to say and do a double check and determine if what you are saying is out of love or out of spite. There are plenty of different ways to tell your boo-boo s/he needs to relax. This method leaves room for "tough love." Just lay of the spite. There's enough spite and hate and Sphate (spite+hate) in this world. But not enough building and loving and Buloving (I think you got that one!).
Let's go people. Lets work on controlling our tongues. Lets be responsible for what we say. Lets take this responsibility over our words seriously. No one deserves to get hurt over your words. Besides, it's less work in the long run when you don't have to take your foot out of your you-know-what.
So before you say anything (especially out of an emotional state):
Stop.....
And
Think.
--MJA
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