Why I Am Against Homogenous Worship Services (Especially In America)

Recently I've been reading John Piper's book Bloodlines: Race, Cross, and the Christian.  This book talks about his plight in fighting racism in his own life and how the Gospel of Jesus Christ broke that chain.  In the book, I came across this sentence:

"If Christ died - mark this, Died!- to make the church a diverse, reconciled body of Jew and Gentile - "red and yellow, black and white," and every shade and shape in between - then to glory in the cross is to glory in the display of the fruit of that cross."

In the context that Dr. Piper is referring to, he's talking about what I would describe as the big "C" Church as opposed to the little "c" church*.  Jesus' death and resurrection unified the Church; there is no more Jew or Greek, there's only of Christ and not of Christ.  That's Dr. Piper's main point.

I'm taking it a step further: because of Jesus' death and resurrection, church's should not be seperated by race, ethnicity, or worship styles.  Now admittingly, I'm only a worshipper.  I'm part of the worship team at my current church and I've been a gospel choir director for my alma mater Messiah College and Harrisburg Brethren in Christ Church.  So I'm not too deep into church politics.  However, what I do know is that there probably isn't a much larger battleground in church structure than worship.  As a worship leader, I've been in the mix of some of the wars, so take my comments with that grain of salt.

With that being said, we are called to unify.  To declassify.  To shed off our own skin and become united with Jesus and when we do that, we are united with the body and when we do that, those in the body are no longer just my friends, they are now my brothers and sisters.  

So I ask this question: How can [honestly] I love my brother and sister if I don't take the time to understand them?

Now Michael, what you're saying is that all believers should just join one (small "c") church!?  No.  That's not what I'm saying.  Obviously there are legitimate reasons for SOME denominational splits, especially when theologies are on different ends of the spectrum, aka Protestant vs. Catholic/Orthodox.  But, despite those differences, there is absolutely no reason why there shouldn't be diversity in two ways (with one leading to the other).  Firstly, there needs to be diversity in the congregational body and that leads to diversity in the worship styles.

I will probably never find a church that I agree with it's theology 100%.  Probably because I don't even know what I believe sometimes (other than the core of Gospel -- Jesus lived, taught, was crucified, rose from the dead, ascended into heaven, and is coming back).  But if I can find a church of which I agree with 75% of the theology, I feel secure.  As a result, I would surmise that most protestant congregations, theology-wise, I would be comfortable in.  

So why do we only stay with our race, ethnicity, or group that makes us feel "comfortable?"

There is absolutely nothing comfortable about being a Christian.  In fact, when we feel comfortable, we run the risk of becoming complacent or lukewarm, and that is not what we are about.  If you are comfortable every day of your Christian journey, then there is probably something wrong with your Christian journey.

This boils over to a homogenous congregation.  When I'm around people that look like me (racially and/or ethnically), think like me (culturally), and act like me, I'm probably not going to grow.  I'm not leaving room for my faith to be stretched.  This is why when I came back home from Messiah College, I could not join the largest African American Church in Philadelphia, PA called Enon Tabernacle Baptist Church.  No knock on Enon, but I didn't feel comfortable being around people that only looked like me anymore.  I needed to be challenged...

When the congregation structure begins to change, worship styles are going to have to change. One of the largest challenges in the diverse church is worshipping on a song style that just isn't your cup of tea.  But, it's necessary.  Many cultures are best defined by their music.  In many ways, it's our identity.  Wait a minute, Jesus should now be our identity, not the worship style...I digress...

In an effort to shorten this blog post, I'm going to reiterate what I said earlier whether you agree with me or not:

There is no way I can [honestly] love my brother and sister if I don't take the time to get to know them.

If I just stay in my comfort zone in church, I won't grow as much as I could.  

Oh, and newsflash, when we get to heaven we are all going to be together worshipping Jesus, our Lord and savior anyway.  So let's start now!!

-MJA

-I may need to write a part 2 on this one, but we'll see.-

*Big "C" Church is referring to the entire body of Christ.  Little "c" church is referring to the individual worship services.

The Way of Improvement Leads Home: So What CAN You Do With a History Major?: Part 48

A recent blog that I was featured on! Check it Out!

The Way of Improvement Leads Home: So What CAN You Do With a History Major?: Part 48:

Work as a Paralegal.

In this post in our series "So What CAN You Do With a History Major?," I caught up with Michael Adams, a 2012 graduate of Messiah College, proud product of the Philadelphia public school system, and a history major.  Michael is currently working as a paralegal in his hometown..

Making Sure That My Worship is For Real! (Worship At It's Best Part 2)

I'm beyond ecstatic that my brotha Moises posted a blog about Worship earlier today (Worship At It's Best) because ever since the article (posted at the bottom of his blog) went viral there have been many thoughts swirling through my head.

If the readers out there don't really know who I am, I was a Gospel Director for 2 choirs for the past 3 years.  I've been known as being a bit eccentric  crazy, wild, and just about any likewise definition you could think of.  There's only one way I can really portray how I am when I direct and that's to show you.  So here's a video of my Alma Mater, Messiah College doing Kirk Franklin's Song Hosanna.  Now I'm not directing the song but I want you to guess which one I am...

Sometimes when I watch this video I cringe at how crazy I become when I'm praising my God.  But if I'm honest, I wasn't always like that.  Long story short, I didn't become like that until I freed myself.  I'm naturally an introvert, but when I worship the Lord, I don't care who's watching and what I do.  My God is great and is greatly to be praised!

However, I will be the first to admit that there have been times as a worship leader where I haven't felt like worshipping.  Where I didn't want to be up there directing because I was having personal issues with God.  When that happened 1 of 2 things occurred   

The first time it happened I forced myself to be the man that everyone expected to see.  It's like I had my head on wrong.  When I first came out of my introvert shell and just danced like David danced I surprised myself.  I didn't know that that much Jesus love was in me.  After a while though, you hit that point where you start to get a little burned-out as a worship leader/choir director.  When that point reached, I was putting on a show.  I was trying wayy too hard.  I was like the worship leader in the aforementioned article.  I staged and planned everything.  The worst (actually, probably the best) part about it was that people could tell.  I was trying wayyyy to hard to put on a show and when I was approached by a couple of friends in my church, I denied it.  I didn't see it, I thought my mask was secure.  But it wasn't.  After that point I talked with Pastor Woody about it and he reminded me to just be myself.  Stop trying to hard.  You see we as worship leaders get into trouble when we try to impress others with our style.  When we try to impress the crowd with what we do.  That's a dangerous problem  to have.

The second time I caught myself in a rut however went a little bit differently.  I was leading the school choir before chapel and I guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.  I wasn't gonna really hide how I felt too much; I wasn't really into the directing thing but I couldn't just stop because I was the Student Director.  So I just chugged through the service.  BUT GOD had other plans for me.  As we sang our last song (which to be honest wasn't one of my favorites), God worked on my heart ya'll.  The hook went "Lord Have Your Way in This Place."  And just kept getting repeated.  All of a sudden I felt something on my heart.  By the end of the song I was about to be into tears because of how great God is.  For the first time in my life, I was about to weep for Jesus.  Mannnnn that was one of the best moments of my life even though I still don't like the song very much!

What am I trying to say?  We, as worship leaders, choir directors, music ministerials need to make sure we have our hearts in the right place at all times!  There are going to be those days where you just ain't gonna feel like goin up there.  But we have a job to do, we have a responsibility to be respective leaders in our churches.  So when you go up there just be yourself.  Don't put on a show.  I'd rather a leader go up in front of a church and admit that he or she is struggling than for someone to put on their Sunday's Best and act like they are lollygagging through the flowers.  Church is about real people with real issues so let's start being real with each other.  Life sucks sometimes and that's ok.  Let you brothers and sisters in Christ come around you and support you.  That's what they are here for! :)

One of my favorite moments as a choir director was a couple of years ago when UVP (Messiah's Gospel Choir) did Byron Cage's rendition of the Praise & Worship song Breathe.  I'll be the first to admit that the first part of the song was rehearsed but that was just the primer.  But when you move out of the introduction and allow the Holy Spirit to enter into the sanctuary, things happened.  I can't explain it ya'll. But to this day, I relive that moment in my head over and over again.  Be a vessel for God. Since you are up there leading other people you HAVE to make sure your head is right.  Don't put up a front.  Just...Let Em UZE Ya! Cuz when the Praises go up!  The Blessing come down! (Psalm 67)

--MJA

Every Timothy needs a Paul

There's a biblical axiom that I surround my faith around.  (Well actually there are many axiom but, for this case there's one in particular.)
Every Paul needs a Timothy and every Timothy needs a Paul.

Or if you want to be gender pleasing, every Paul (or Paulina) needs a Timothy (or Timotheia) and every Timotheia (or Timothy) needs a Paul (or Paulina).

What does that mean?  I mean I kinda know that Paul was a great man.  I've heard that he was a thing called an Apsotle and wrote letters to churches.  But who the heck is Timothy?  Wait...is he the same Timothy in the bible.  Erm..as in 1 Timothy & 2 Timothy??

Why yes, yes he is.  You sir, deserve a cookie!  But Timothy is more than a book in the bible.  He was Paul mentee.  He was the person that Paul sowed into.  He met Timothy while he was a young age in Act 16:1-3 and taught him.  And then eventually sent him out into the world to start his own church.  But, Paul didn't leave good ol' Timmy alone.  He checked up on him as often as he could through at least 2 letters.  These letters are affectionately known as 1st and 2nd Timothy.

It's important to highlight here that Paul, like Jesus, recognized that we are put on this earth for a reason. One of the reasons is to speak life into others, especially those younger than us.  There are two things that are necessary for this occurrence to happen.  Firstly there has to be a willing "Paul," a man or woman that is willing to share their knowledge with someone.  And there has to be a willing "Timothy," a person willing and eager to learn.

Any well rounded Christian has the capability to be both a Paul and a Timothy.  I don't care how old you are, there is always someone watching you and you are always watching someone else.  It's about having the right attitude.

For me, I've been more than blessed with Pauls in my life.  Some of them have come seemingly for a season and some can happen a lifetime but I can say without a shadow of a doubt, that I am who I am because of them.  If it wasn't for their lecturing and constant perstering and prodding I just wouldn't be me. I need to personally thank them for speaking life into my heart sometimes when I've felt like giving up (and they might not even know that they have).  It means a heck of a lot that they even dedicated 5 minutes to me because they just didn't have to.  I'm not going to give full names, but they know who they are!

Rev. Dr. Byrd, I wanna thank you for continuing to press on me for my calling in this life to be a minister of the gospel.  I don't know when and I really don't know how, but you have kept the Word of the Lord in my life.

Mr. Frank, who would've thought that the man that I met in High School, whom I at times had an issue with would become someone I could call a mentor and a friend.  You have influenced me in more ways that one which is including but not limited to my trek to Messiah College where I became a History Major!

Now that I'm at Messiah, I might as well mention Dr. Fea.  I had no idea that you would've helped me in the ways that you have.  I never thought I would get this close to a History professor let alone an intimidating giant such as yourself!

Staying at Messiah I have to mention Dr. T!  This man has literally been like a second father to me.  We've hit every topic from music (most importantly) to relationships to ministry.  I wouldn't have survived my last two years with you!

If it wasn't for Dr. T, I wouldn't have met Pastor Woody.  Even though are time was relatively brief you have sown sooo much into me.  I just want to thank you for that and hopefully we can do a better job at staying in contact.

DKP, you have sown into me like no other Lawyer have.  This journey in my life is a new one for me but I am glad that you are willing to embark on it along with moi.

Finally, Min. Tucker.  Yes, you aren't that much older than me but you have spoken life in me from time and time again!  I am proud to call you my real brother and I love that despite the difference, we've kept in touch with each other.

Well, that's it!  I'm sorry this was soo long haha but I had to get out my sense of gratitude.  On a final note, I do realize that I have a bunch of Timothys and no Timotheias but that's ok.  I grew up in a household of mostly older women so I have PLENTY of those to hold me accountable! :)

--MJA

Racism is still alive..unfortunately

The recent College Football events have led me to ponder the topic of racism in today's life.  Let me start off by saying that I am indeed an African-American man whose decedents were brought over from Africa.  I personally have had direct acts of racism acted towards me, so racism doesn't have a deep effect on me.  I would be remissed to note that since I've been to college, most of my close friends are now white, so I have absolutely nothing against white people forrr the record.

Let's be clear here, I am not one of those crazy people that overuses the name of racism such as some of the politicians whom I disagree with.  I have been called a "nigger" before.  It wasn't a bad intent.  The guy who called me it just thought it was cool   So I calmly told him the origin of that word and he apologized for it and it was all good. But, I'll get back to that in a little bit.

If you don't know the issue, here it is in a nutshell, now former Colorado State Football coach, Jon Embree was fired yesterday after 2 years for bad performance.  Now firings in College Football (FBS) are nothing new, but it was Embree's comments after he was fired that started the discussion.  He exclaimed that if his skin color was different (white), he would probably still have the job.  This comment at first glance just felt like another man playing the "black card." But after hearing his argument dissected, there's evidence to support that claim.  The idea that his predecessor, whom happened to be white and happened to last his full contract term (5 years), was just as unsuccessful as Embree and received 3 more years was enlightening.

Couple that with the statistic that I stole from Stephen A Smith that notes: in the past 33 year, there have been 41 African American head coaches in FBS that left a team (voluntarily or involuntarily) and only 1 of them has been rehired.  Now let me pause right there, because I don't have any statistics on their white counterparts, however let me point out 2 issues.  Firstly, the fact that only 41 African American coaches were there in 33 years is alarming bad.  Secondly, that's a little more than 2.5% of black coaches given a second chance.

Maybe Embree has some merit?  Let's get beyond all the "official" mumbo-jumbo though.

We have a problem.  I do not believe that racism is really alive in the public (maybe a little, but nothing compared to before), but I do believe that it still exists deep in the soul.  When it all comes down to it, we all have racist/stereotypic  tendencies.  But, racism at it's core is a deep, ugly, nasty and rigid thing.  Let's be clear, I'm not just talking about Black vs. White (and visa-versa).  I'm talking about Black vs. Latino, White vs. Latino, Easterners vs. Whites vs. Blacks vs. Latinos...I can go on and on (all of them visa-versa).  What I'm trying to say is that at it's core, it's a heart issue.

There are people that are going to blabber about how there were Christians that justified slavery using the bible in the 18th and 19th centuries, which is fine.  And to that I say that I have a history degree from Messiah College when all I did was study stuff like that so I've heard it and I can refute it by saying one word: Different.  In the past there were different values and understandings so you have to look at it with different lenses.  You can't look down on an ideology in the past just because it seems invalid to you.  At the heart of it, it may be unjust, but you have to understand why they felt that way. Unfortunately, that's beyond the scope of this blog.

Like I said before, it's a heart issue.  It's not something I think we can tangibly change in 5, 10,or 15 years with strict legislation because when you try to force people to do something, there's resentment.  But something needs to be done.  Here's what I'm going to do, and I know I'm gonna sound like a Christan (Heaven forbid), but I'm going to pray.  I'm going to pray for the nation.  I'm going to pray my butt off!

When it comes down to it, the Bible tells us a story.  It tells us a narrative of huge issues between Jews and Gentiles...aka Jews versus everyone else.  For thousands of years, they hated each other.  They fought wars, rumored wars, killed, torture, and sometimes married to the detriment of themselves.  A lot of it stemmed because the Jews thought they were better than everyone else.  And if I had to be honest, they were, because they were God's chosen people.  BUT (and that's a big but) when Jesus came and died on the cross, he eliminated the "I'm better than you barrier."  He took on the sins of the entire world.  Thus, those that believe in him are now the "Jew" or the chosen one.

Wait!  It can be taken a step further!  Paul, in his letter to the Galatians tells us that we are all one in Christ! "There is neither Jew nor Greek (Gentile), there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ." (Galatians 3:28)  That's the beauty of it.  All one in Christ.

Lets be clear. Something needs to be done in FBS. Maybe they need to establish a Roony Rule such as in the NFL where at least one minority has to be interviewed during a coaching process.  That was a good way at giving minorities exposure to other teams because while they might not be hired, at least other organizations might know who they are and say "hmmm...I never thought about Jon Embree, lets take a look."We are all family.  We are all humans.  MLK said that we are human first.  We need to recognize and be proud of that!

I love all my black, white, Latino, Asian, male, female, lesbian, gay, short, tall, big-boneded, thin, light-skinned, and dark skin peeps.  Just keep the love comin!

Introducing....

Welp, as you can see, this blog LoveGod.LovePeople. is now co-authored!  This guy didn't even give me a chance to introduce him, that he's just so gung-ho to just unleash his capabilities on the bloggersphere!  Well just so that there is a legit introduction, je te presente (I'm introducing) my friend, Moises aka "MOreAble."

This man is basically like a brother to me and we sometimes question whether we were separated at birth even though he's latino and I'm african-american. Go figure!  We met in college when he was a Freshman (I mean first-year) and I was a Sophomore.  At the initial onset, we didn't like each other.  In fact I could contend, and I would think he would agree, that we borderline hated each other.  But, slowly and surely, all because of God, we grew closer and closer as brothers in Christ, but also legit bros-from-anotha-motha.

As you noted in his first blog, "Your Conviction: Standing Up When Others Come Against You," this man has a mind, has something to say, and can write.  Eloquence, is what I saw, and passion is what I felt in his writing.  And trust me folks, it's only going to get better.

Now, enough with all the mushy stuff...

I decided to invite his to come blog with me for the simple fact that we are very similar in many ways, but we are very different in others.  We have different approaches but we agree that we need to LoveGod.LovePeople.

The story is that, I was just happening to look at the settings of this blog (as you can see it has changed profusely), and it had a section to add other authors.  And instantly, as if I was ina cartoon, a lightbulb shone in my noggin and I said to myself, "self, you need to get Moises (or as I call him Caramelito) on board.  I had only recently found out that he blogged, and once I found that out, it was a wrappp!

I wanted, I dreamed that this blog would reach a larger audience.  Reach more people that need it.  Reach more people, Christians and Non-Christians alike, and let them know that Jesus loves them.  Tell the Christians that are struggling with various things, that it's gonna be a Brighter Day as I always used to say.

So, this blog is just as much for my enoucuragement, for our encouragement as it is for you, our readers. Be Encouraged my brothers and sister.

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." - Romans 8:18

And just because I'm ina sappy mood, I'm going to post a picture of us 2 at my recent college graduation. I'm sureee you can tell which is which!

--MJA

Created and Called for....Friends

I honestly can't believe I'm writing this, but this blog kinda is an advocate for my Created and Called for Community Class (CCC) at Messiah College.  Lets be clear, the class within itself, I am not necessarily advocating for, however, I am advocating for it's literal message.  We, as human beings, are indeed Created & Called For Community.

Whether you believe that the story of Adam and Eve was a literal or figurative story isn't a debate I'm trying to have here.  But, if you just take the lessons and what God said throughout the story, you would notice that God made Adam first (sorry ladies but don't worry, thats not the main point).  However, Adam was alone with all these animals and fruits and plants and cells and gooey stuffs (maybe?) when God realized that maybeeee something is missing.  Maybe, just maybe, man should not be alone. (Genesis 2:18)  In fact, it is not good for (man) [or people] to be alone.  So, he made Eve!  What does this tell me?  That we are created and called for community.  We are created and called to be around other people.  We are created and called to laugh with other people. It's part of necessary structure to stay alive.

I'm going to be honest here, this is a pretty simple blog to write, and basically anyone could've written this.  But for me, this is a personal blog post.  This is a blog post where I am thanking my multitude of diverse friends far and near for accepting me into their community and becoming part of mine.  I've been extremely blessed to have all types of friends; all different shapes, sizes, races, and genders.  And the amazing thing is that I know that although we might not always agree on everything, that when it comes down to it, they have my back.  And I wanna say thank you to them, for loving, cherishing, and just being there for me.

Awwww, wasn't that sweet...Ok, now back to business.

I personally think that it's important for everyone to have a set group of friends.  Now obviously, there are going to be friends that you "like" more than others.  There are friends that you will just naturally wanna be around with more than others (Unless you are me because I AM the exception to the rule...just kidding).  And that's great and peachy.  So, you may be like me where you have Childhood friends, Grade School Friends, Freshman of College Friends and other College friends.  And if you have those I pray that you continue to cherish them.  I pray that you continue to love them.  Friends, are just amazing.

But, what I've learned is that there is one sub-sub-sub category of friends, that just seemingly transcends months, years, and decades.  I'm talking about Spiritual Friends.  Friends that you have a spiritual connection with.  Friends or a friend that, every time you hang out, you just become closer and closer.  You can't seem to put your finger on it, but somehow it just happened.  Those friends in my opinion are the rarest to find and if you happen to find one, consider yourself extremely blessed.

The Biblical example of probably the greatest spiritual friendship is between the (apparent) heir to the throne, Jonathan and the actual heir to the throne David.  Now check this out, these two fellas were actually competing for the same exact throne!  Jonathan was the son of the current King Saul but David was the king God had foresaw.  Now lets be clear, Jonathan was a baddddd man.  He slew people by the dozens but he came across a thing that he couldn't even defeat.  Goliath.  And David was just a little shaped   My man Jon, the warrior, wasn't able to kil goliath.  But my boy David, was able to with a rock and a slight shot!  What!?

Now, David didn't really care about the glory.  But when he gave the head of the giant Goliath (see what I did there? Double G...ima stupid) to Saul, it was all a wrap.  And you know what Jonathan did? He could've been jealous that he lost his throne, but he wasn't.  He was happy for David.  And it was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.  A friendship where they had love, connection, vulnerability  loyalty, and prayer.  What more can you ask for ina friend! (For more info on this connect check out 1 Samuel 18-21-ish)

I am not trying to bash any friends here cuz I appreciate every single one of mine and I'm sure you do of yours, but when you find that spiritual friend do not...I repeat: do NOT let him or her go!  It's a great friend to have.  It's a great person to rely on...Now I'm personally not going to say who my Spiritual Friend is because this is a public thingy, and I don't wanna put alllll my life out there.  But he knows who he is, and he needs to know that I thank the Lord for his friendship and his prayers.

Welp, that's all I have for this post.  Do me a favor.  Send a text, facebook, phone call, tweet, airplane, shout over to your friends.  Let them know that you appreciate them all!  That's what I'm going to do! Until next time my brothers and sisters.

--MJA

You've Got To Forgive

Well, yesterday (August 12th), I preached my first sermon.  It was on forgiveness, and for the most part I think it went well.  I'm generally an overly critical person so there are somethings I don't like about it and there are some things that I need to improve.  But for the first time, I'm overly pleased.  You can check it out here if you want!

You've Got To Forgive

~Michael J. Adams

It Has Changed My Life!

Narcissism.  That one word has been the ruler of my life, unbeknownst to me.  Yes, I loved to help people, but only if it helped me in someway.  Whether it would keep them out of my head...it was all about me, me, me.

Then I came to Messiah College and became a history major (who would've ever thunk?) where I can honestly say that mine life has changed and my eyes have been opened.

History, if the one secular study that is unselfish.  It forces the reader, the 'interacter', the historian to get out of his or her shoes and enter into someone (whom is usually dead) else's'.  It is an amazing practice that everyone, but especially Christian need to focus on.  It's not about me.  It's about you.  It's about them.  Being a history major has taught me to empathize with people. To challenge myself to put away judgements and ill misconceptions.  To just look at the person and to love them.  All we need is love right? I mean that's all people are looking for, to meet someone that won't judge them, but to care for and about them.

Besides, Jesus' greatest commandment was a two part ordeal.  Part A: Love God.  Part B: Love people.  You can't love God and not love people since in the beginning God created us in his (or is you believe God is a female, her) image.

Reading a document that was written well before my time is an exciting ordeal!  I can to read someone else's thoughts! A psych major's dream!  INterpret their words, bring past events to life!  But all that has to be preceded by understanding what they went through, their context.

I want to thank the Lord for placing me at Messiah College.  But most importantly, putting me in the midst of wonderful and caring professors in the History Department.  There are no words that I can say that will express the deep gratitude I have for you.  To them, I pray that they continue to inspire students.  Coming into my freshman year, if you would've told me that I would've been transformed in mind, body (yes body) and soul by the HISTORY department, I would've called you a liar!

To everyone that is/was a history major.  I hope you have/will have similar stories to mine.  I hope that you are able to gather the great virtues that this discipline gives: empathy, caring, understanding, compassion, listening, and most importantly: love.

To everyone else...What are you waiting for!  Sign up and get yo history degree!  Just kidding (kinda).  I hope you find the joy in whatever you do.  The Kingdom has a place for every single one of you and your abilities.  Don't let them go to waste.  If God can use a terrorist like Paul, a murderer like Moses, and a adulter like David, he sure can use me and you!

Just as the body, though one, has many parts, but all it's parts form one body, so it is with Christ. ~ Romans 12:12

It's Over

There's a time and place for everything...Everything has a life cycle...and every cycle has a life cycle and it seems like mine has come to an end and WOW what a journey it has been. I'm going to make this my culmination over the past 4 years in how I've grown and learned.

Freshman Year:
Coming into Messiah, I did not know what I was doing.  I had a girlfriend (as most freshies) and I was nervous about this next step in my life.  After about a month of hanging out with my roommate, I started to establish new friends whom I'm honored and proud to have still to this day.  However, not everything was great.  Yes, October was the month I became legal, but it was also the month Marquel died and the month I broke up with my high school sweet heart.  Man, I thought I had to together, but I really didn't!  In school and in choir I was quiet, but when I spoke up I was arrogant, thinking that I knew what I was doing, it was just..bad. I survived freshman year however, only by the grace of God because by the end of that summer, I was in a huge pile of dudu and it was no one's fault but my own.

Sophomore Year:
 Sophomore year was probably my favorite year.  I opened it up by getting rid of old baggage and it really freed me up (I would discover how later in life).  My grades were steadily increasing and I was just figuring things out alot better.  I developed a very close relationship with my now God-Brother, Calvin Tucker which I am incredibly thankful for.  Eventually, I got with another girlfriend whom I probably had the best relationship with. I mean she was the main reason I started to go back to church (CLA) because my old home church left me scarred.  By this point, I really felt like I was finding my place in society.  I mean, I was rooming with my best friend, James, and life was grand!  Until the end of the summer when I arbitraily killed things by breaking up with her.  To this day, I don't know what was going through my hand/what I was thinking. Alas, life goes on.

Junior Year:Aww man, this was my 1st year at the Student Director of UVP.  Man, we had developed some issues that really stretched me but now that I look back at it, it was just a test to make me stronger.  Me becoming the leader of the choir was an incredibly humbling experience and it taught me patience...soooo much patience.  I mean the theme for Junior year was: patience.  Whether it was relationally, socially, or academically.  Academically this was my best year.  Yes, I got into another relationship which, yep, you guessed it, I ended it.  Ending this year just brought the thought in my head of: aww man, im graduating next year....nbd.

Senior Year: This year is/was/has been THE most signinicant/interesting year.  The first semester, I got myself in trouble, doing things, placing myself in situations where I just continually got hurt.  But at the same time, there were significant strides happening that would foreshadow next semester.  One of the most signinicant developments is that, during the summer, I had drawn very close to a man of latino descent, Moises, who out of everyone else, probably payed the biggest role of this particular year.
The most significant/life altering event happened during Christmas Break.  During Christmas Break, God was working on me.  Making me realize...making me surrender my life and giviving it to Him.  It was at this point where I realzied the TRUE calling for my life and that I needed to embrace it...The MINISTRY.  (now I don't have enough time to get into the story but it was huge).  After that surrenderance, man, things CHANGED.  Mine eyes were illuminated and I realized that I had become something that I always dreaded: a player.  I looked at women as objects to be obtained and once I was done with them: bye bye.  Well, God doesn't illuminate our eyes just for the heck of it.  Something needed to change within myself and something was changing.  But, I needed to confess my sins..I needed to apologize.  So I did.  I apologized to a handful of women that had been impacted by my mindset, by my acts. And if you know anything about me, you would know that that was probably the hardest things I've ever done..but it had to be done.

Ever since then, theres been something different about me.  I love life.  And for the 1st real time in my life, I'm embracing my singleness.  Theres nothing I can do about my past but the bible says (somewhere) that when we are in Christ, we are a new creation, old things have passed.  I've moved forward ya'll, and I'm not planning on turning back.

Ok, this has gone LONG enough.  I'm just thankful for all the friendships that I've accumulated in this past 4 years.  Man, I don't know what I wouldve done without my friends, foreal.  I love them, and I will continually be there for them and I hope they really know that.  Looking back at my 4 years, I am amazed at the transformation that happened and there's only one person, one entity that could be responsible for this: me. Just Kidding.  I give all honor and glory to my risen Savior, Jesus Christ.  Without Him, without the Spirit, without God I couldve been dead somewhere.  Matter of fact, theres a good chance I should've been dead.  So, if you are an underclassman reading this, just keep trekking through your 1, 2, or 3 years left in college.  You never know what knew surprises you are going to encounter or lessons you are going to learn.  Take it from me, my most impactful/biggest/lesson-learning year was my last.

I really wish I had more time here, but its over.  I feel like God is pulling me towards a particular direction, but to be honest, I'm scared to death.  But I know one thing for sure: my God will NEVER EVER EVER EVER leave me nor forsake me.  That's a promise I can BANK on.