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I am one emotional man. I will be the first to admit it. Sometimes during movies I can feel a tear coming during those impactful scenes (but for the record, I don't cry!). It's easy for me to admit that my emotions made me who I am today. Although most of the times I shade them and hide them until I can't control them anymore (which can be good and bad), I am no longer ashamed to admit that I am just an emotional man.
One of issues that really has an impact on my heart is self-love. Maybe it's because I grew up with 3 older women or maybe it's another reason, but my heart goes out to people who don't love themselves and just beat themselves up on a daily. I just want to wrap them in a love that tells them that they are worth more; tell them that they are loved...
I am privileged to have grown up in a stable home with both parents fully present. I'm not just privileged to have that, I'm blessed. The older I get the more I realize that my nuclear family is becoming the exception rather the rule especially in the urban context that I grew up in. I've never had to question my parents support for me even when I do something that was to their disproval. So that no matter what, I felt loved. Even before I fully comprehended my Christian faith, I felt the love of Christ on my life.
Growing up with that blessing, I've come to realize that many people don't have that. Some people grow up with their mom and/or dad talking down on them. Making them believe that they will fail. Or even worse patronizing them for their errors over and over again. And if one of you are reading this, I am, from the pit of my heart, very sorry.
I'm not hear however for a pity party. I'm hear to just say that regardless of the past, you can move forward. For every time someone tells you that you can't, God tells you that you can thrice that! Sometimes it's hard to believe to understand without feeling the love or support growing up that you can't do it. As a result you take it out on your self with self-mutilation, depression, anxiety.
Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, but if we don't love ourselves, how can we learn to love our neighbors. A lot of people I know that have the issue of self-disdain treat others around them like kings and queens and then as a result get trampled on by people like yours truly When that happens the cycle continues. Over. And Over. Again. I can't tell you how to love yourselves. I can only pray for you. I can only pray from our generation. I can only pray that you feel the unconditional love that I receive from my father. No, not my earthly father, but my heavenly father.
I can support you. I can love on you like a brother or a sister. I can tell you that you were made in the image of God and that God didn't make a mistake when he made you. I can affirm you and remind you that because of God's love for you that he sent Jesus to die on the cross for your sins. I can and will do what I can to help the hurting.
One of, if not my, favorite gospel artists is Kirk Franklin. Kirk Franklin has an interesting story of a kid who grew up without a father, and he overheard his mother say that he was a mistake. As a result he became a constant people pleaser, always looking for affirmation in the wrong places. What makes him amazing is that he allows his emotions, his past, to bleed through the lyrics of some of his songs. One song that it's evident in is called Imagine Me. The song reminds me that no matter what your past has done to you it's gone. Your past is literally your past. Imagine you breaking free from the chains of bondage yesterday put you in to live today like theres no tomorrow!
Like I said, I don't have the blueprint for teaching people how to love themselves. All I can do is point, point to the Bible, point to the cross, and point to my Father in heaven.
My heart goes out to all those that are hurting. I pray that you discover that unconditional love and accompanied by peace. A peace that passes all understanding.
--MJA
Imagine Me
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