There's a time and place for everything...Everything has a life cycle...and every cycle has a life cycle and it seems like mine has come to an end and WOW what a journey it has been. I'm going to make this my culmination over the past 4 years in how I've grown and learned.
Freshman Year:
Coming into Messiah, I did not know what I was doing. I had a girlfriend (as most freshies) and I was nervous about this next step in my life. After about a month of hanging out with my roommate, I started to establish new friends whom I'm honored and proud to have still to this day. However, not everything was great. Yes, October was the month I became legal, but it was also the month Marquel died and the month I broke up with my high school sweet heart. Man, I thought I had to together, but I really didn't! In school and in choir I was quiet, but when I spoke up I was arrogant, thinking that I knew what I was doing, it was just..bad. I survived freshman year however, only by the grace of God because by the end of that summer, I was in a huge pile of dudu and it was no one's fault but my own.
Coming into Messiah, I did not know what I was doing. I had a girlfriend (as most freshies) and I was nervous about this next step in my life. After about a month of hanging out with my roommate, I started to establish new friends whom I'm honored and proud to have still to this day. However, not everything was great. Yes, October was the month I became legal, but it was also the month Marquel died and the month I broke up with my high school sweet heart. Man, I thought I had to together, but I really didn't! In school and in choir I was quiet, but when I spoke up I was arrogant, thinking that I knew what I was doing, it was just..bad. I survived freshman year however, only by the grace of God because by the end of that summer, I was in a huge pile of dudu and it was no one's fault but my own.
Sophomore Year:
Sophomore year was probably my favorite year. I opened it up by getting rid of old baggage and it really freed me up (I would discover how later in life). My grades were steadily increasing and I was just figuring things out alot better. I developed a very close relationship with my now God-Brother, Calvin Tucker which I am incredibly thankful for. Eventually, I got with another girlfriend whom I probably had the best relationship with. I mean she was the main reason I started to go back to church (CLA) because my old home church left me scarred. By this point, I really felt like I was finding my place in society. I mean, I was rooming with my best friend, James, and life was grand! Until the end of the summer when I arbitraily killed things by breaking up with her. To this day, I don't know what was going through my hand/what I was thinking. Alas, life goes on.
Sophomore year was probably my favorite year. I opened it up by getting rid of old baggage and it really freed me up (I would discover how later in life). My grades were steadily increasing and I was just figuring things out alot better. I developed a very close relationship with my now God-Brother, Calvin Tucker which I am incredibly thankful for. Eventually, I got with another girlfriend whom I probably had the best relationship with. I mean she was the main reason I started to go back to church (CLA) because my old home church left me scarred. By this point, I really felt like I was finding my place in society. I mean, I was rooming with my best friend, James, and life was grand! Until the end of the summer when I arbitraily killed things by breaking up with her. To this day, I don't know what was going through my hand/what I was thinking. Alas, life goes on.
Junior Year:Aww man, this was my 1st year at the Student Director of UVP. Man, we had developed some issues that really stretched me but now that I look back at it, it was just a test to make me stronger. Me becoming the leader of the choir was an incredibly humbling experience and it taught me patience...soooo much patience. I mean the theme for Junior year was: patience. Whether it was relationally, socially, or academically. Academically this was my best year. Yes, I got into another relationship which, yep, you guessed it, I ended it. Ending this year just brought the thought in my head of: aww man, im graduating next year....nbd.
Senior Year: This year is/was/has been THE most signinicant/interesting year. The first semester, I got myself in trouble, doing things, placing myself in situations where I just continually got hurt. But at the same time, there were significant strides happening that would foreshadow next semester. One of the most signinicant developments is that, during the summer, I had drawn very close to a man of latino descent, Moises, who out of everyone else, probably payed the biggest role of this particular year.
The most significant/life altering event happened during Christmas Break. During Christmas Break, God was working on me. Making me realize...making me surrender my life and giviving it to Him. It was at this point where I realzied the TRUE calling for my life and that I needed to embrace it...The MINISTRY. (now I don't have enough time to get into the story but it was huge). After that surrenderance, man, things CHANGED. Mine eyes were illuminated and I realized that I had become something that I always dreaded: a player. I looked at women as objects to be obtained and once I was done with them: bye bye. Well, God doesn't illuminate our eyes just for the heck of it. Something needed to change within myself and something was changing. But, I needed to confess my sins..I needed to apologize. So I did. I apologized to a handful of women that had been impacted by my mindset, by my acts. And if you know anything about me, you would know that that was probably the hardest things I've ever done..but it had to be done.
The most significant/life altering event happened during Christmas Break. During Christmas Break, God was working on me. Making me realize...making me surrender my life and giviving it to Him. It was at this point where I realzied the TRUE calling for my life and that I needed to embrace it...The MINISTRY. (now I don't have enough time to get into the story but it was huge). After that surrenderance, man, things CHANGED. Mine eyes were illuminated and I realized that I had become something that I always dreaded: a player. I looked at women as objects to be obtained and once I was done with them: bye bye. Well, God doesn't illuminate our eyes just for the heck of it. Something needed to change within myself and something was changing. But, I needed to confess my sins..I needed to apologize. So I did. I apologized to a handful of women that had been impacted by my mindset, by my acts. And if you know anything about me, you would know that that was probably the hardest things I've ever done..but it had to be done.
Ever since then, theres been something different about me. I love life. And for the 1st real time in my life, I'm embracing my singleness. Theres nothing I can do about my past but the bible says (somewhere) that when we are in Christ, we are a new creation, old things have passed. I've moved forward ya'll, and I'm not planning on turning back.
Ok, this has gone LONG enough. I'm just thankful for all the friendships that I've accumulated in this past 4 years. Man, I don't know what I wouldve done without my friends, foreal. I love them, and I will continually be there for them and I hope they really know that. Looking back at my 4 years, I am amazed at the transformation that happened and there's only one person, one entity that could be responsible for this: me. Just Kidding. I give all honor and glory to my risen Savior, Jesus Christ. Without Him, without the Spirit, without God I couldve been dead somewhere. Matter of fact, theres a good chance I should've been dead. So, if you are an underclassman reading this, just keep trekking through your 1, 2, or 3 years left in college. You never know what knew surprises you are going to encounter or lessons you are going to learn. Take it from me, my most impactful/biggest/lesson-learning year was my last.
I really wish I had more time here, but its over. I feel like God is pulling me towards a particular direction, but to be honest, I'm scared to death. But I know one thing for sure: my God will NEVER EVER EVER EVER leave me nor forsake me. That's a promise I can BANK on.
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