There is a reason that at the moment in my life that I'm reading a book to become a better man (Kingdom Man by Tony Evans), at a time where I'm struggling to find out who I am in relation to woman, I just happen to fall across a movie that places me into a vortex of thoughts and emotions.
That movie is For Colored Girls which is directed by Tyler Perry featuring an all African American cast. The movie centers around nine separatred but yet intertwined black woman who all share their own struggles (albeit some worse than others). I can't as a black man directly relate to their experiences per se, but I can feel it. I can feel the hurt. I can feel the shame. I can feel the pain. I can feel the disappointment. I can feel the...the emotions.
What the heck is going on men? That's a question that is continuously echoing in my head. I know we aren't perfect, but seriously bros. We can do better.
Yes, there was a silver lining in the movie: aka 1 good black man in the ENTIRE movie (which I don't believe to be completely true). However the point still stands. Why are all the Adam's out there leaving the Eve's on their own. Why are we constantly hurting them? Is there something about our DNA. I really don't know.
Fatherless homes? Babies making babies? Abuse? Neglect? Sin?
In Kingdom Man, Dr. Tony Evans made a statement that I couldn't register until now. He basically said that if you don't love being a man, then there is something wrong with you. And after watching this movie, and all the hell my counterparts go through, I absolutely know that God knew what he was doing in making me a man. A Man of Color. Because Lord knows, what I would end up doing if I was in the position that some of my sisters were in.
I do understand that this is a movie and al ot of it is dramatized, but the principle sticks in. Black Women have it rough. You have the media telling you to straighten your hair, you have the magazines telling you that being dark is out, you have your dads telling you that ain't good enough (if they are even in the picture). You have your hearts continuously being stomped on and trashed and for what? So a dude like me can have you for a moment and when he gets tired of you he just goes on to something better.
No, that just isn't right!
I know I've said this before, but now I feel it with much much more conviction: Women Are A Gift From God. We need to start treating you like it. Until I feel mature enough to handle my insecurities, whom I am, I don't deserve as a man, as an aspiring Kingdom Man to be part of this continual rinse cycle that's degraded, dehumanizing, and just debilitating these Black Queens.
I'm only speaking for myself here. Me, Michael Adams, young African American Man. You have the absolute right to hold me to these words; they aren't going anywhere. I pray that Jesus continues to transform my heart so that I can be like David (a man after God's Heart--Acts 13:22).
This is just ridiculous.
--MJA
Mr. Adams, on behalf of myself (and every other colored woman who needs to hear your words but never will)... THANK YOU! This post touched my heart and I just had to let you know that.
ReplyDeletebe blessed,
pVI
Just wondered why this is written specifically for black women. I understand the inspiration was a movie about women of color, but why not broaden the scope? You admit you don't know what these women go through or how they do it, does that only apply to black women? Each struggle you mentioned is gender specific rather than race, but you act as though they only apply to women of color. I find myself wondering why the words white, asian, hisapnic, or any other race for that matter, are absent from this post. Is it because you you think these women don't face these same struggles? Or just that you don't think they need your support?
ReplyDeleteThis particular post was a direct reaction to the movie. It would be completely within bounds to broaden the scope as I've done with other blogs such as "You Are So Beautiful" and "Women are a Gift From God." But, for this particular instance, the group I had in my mind were African American Ladies. If another race or gender feels the pain that I wrote about in this blog, by all means, I want them to use it to help them. When it comes down to it, it's not about white, black, yellow, brown, or purple people. I believe that we are all children of God who face similar issues. The best thing I can do as a Christian Man is be made aware of the issues and do my best to change myself and to some extent society around me.
DeleteThanks for your post.